General

Hey all, I've been a lurker for ages but this is my first thread.

Ever since I first started dating, I've gravitated towards bigger women. I simply find them more attractive, more fun, and less inhibited. I briefly dated a very thin girl before, and it definitely confirmed my feelings.

I struggled with it for awhile (society being what it is), but I've since learned to have fun and worry less.

I guess my problem is twofold. Firstly, my family. My brother (who is married) and my father constantly bust my balls for dating big girls, who they often make disparaging remarks about. It's more playful teasing than outright mean, but it's all the time. I avoid having any girls I date meet my family. I feel terrible about it, but I'm not ashamed of my date, but more irritated of my family's rude behavior.

I think if I confronted them they would stop. And I'm going to have to do it eventually, but I'm not looking forward to it.

Second, all of the bigger women I have dated have been very self-conscious about their weight. They weren't comfortable with themselves like a lot of you guys are. They always talk about losing weight and how bad they feel about themselves, and I don't know how to say much more than "I like you the way you are" without sounding like a perv. Several of them gained weight (not on purpose), and I told them they looked cuter but they didn't believe me

One of them gained quite a lot of weight, and I know it bothers her. She was depressed and eating a lot of comfort food. About 50 pounds later, I thought she looked great! But it was hard to make her feel better about herself when she was always so focused on how "terrible" she looked.

I don't even know what answers I'm looking for, but writing this is kind of therapeutic.

So be it. It's entirely, 100% honest.

I thought we prized honesty about ourselves here?

Haha, I see XD

I am attracted to "normal" weight on up, though if I have my dibs a lil bigger is always a lil better.

As for the attitudes of some of my dates, well most of them I met IRL and just hit it off and started spending time together. You know, the traditional way before the internet came around

Thanks Kellye and Dee both -

Kellye I understand, it's hard not to be jaded sometimes. People on the internet can be vicious but I don't take it to heart.

Hi, Jacob,

It kinda depends on what type of people your family and girlfriends are, too. There are some great books to read, if they're into reading.

--xJ

Yikes. 0___0

yeah I see what you mean!

@ Kellye,

It was a work in progress when I posted it, I shamelessly edit everything I post to any website so that's just the way it is.

As to the passage you refer to, I oversimplified it when I originally posted, and in re-reading it later decided to remove it because I agree, people would probably rip me apart for it.

In reality, it was a brief interaction under the context of business, and she was not my girlfriend at the time but simply a platonic female friend. We did not date until later on.

This right here. I've relived this scenario a few times myself. I have this uncanny ability to fall in love with women who gain weight and hate themselves for it. Of course, it's impossible to convince a woman that she looks beautiful if she refuses to believe it herself. Not to mention they can't understand why I feel the way I do.

The one who does believe it has to be out there somewhere, right?

And my family has always been a little puzzled by my taste in women, but ultimately they just want to see me be happy. Hopefully yours is the same way, even with the teasing.