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how do you feel about bdsm?9 years

I'm curious about how you guys feel about the larger BDSM community. Do you see feederism as being part of it? (I know, we *do* have a "Squashing, Domination, and Submission" section on the forum.) But in my experience, a lot of people into feederism, stuffing, gaining, and inflation don't seem to hang out with the broader BDSM community. I've gone to "how to spank someone" classes, a sex camp, kinky happy hours, swingers parties and so on, but the only fetishists I meet seem to be into feet.

Why is this? Guys who are into BDSM and like "natural-looking" fat girls are common, but I've never been to a BDSM event where I didn't have to explain to everyone what I was into. There's 2 groups that I know of for feederism on http://fetlife.com/, but I wouldn't say it's a large community compared to the people who have accounts on Dims or FF.

This is important because going to BDSM events seems like a great way to meet other people IRL who won't think us weird for having a fetish. It can also be a great source for sex and body positive information. But for some reason we don't seem to know it's available.

Do we feel like the BDSM community will reject us? Or do we just not feel like they meet our needs?

how do you feel about bdsm?9 years

Nerdzilla wrote
I can not imagine that feederism has a home within the BDSM community. It tends (as far as I can see) to be a monolithic activity - it has no intrinsic bondage, power exchange, giving or receiving of pain.
(emphasis mine)

See, all this time I've been thinking of a feeder/feedee relationship as a kind of power exchange. As a feeder, I'd be given (consensual) control over someone else's body...and if that isn't toppy, what is?

how do you feel about bdsm?9 years

I am very interested in BDSM and, personally, I think the feedee/feeder relationship is a subcategory of that. I have interest in BDSM, but for me, it does not always have to include feeding. Call me versatile. And let me add that I have never participated in any of this stuff, but I think I know what I like.
Regarding your last question, Molly, I think the BDSM community would be against feederism because you do not just gain weight in the bedroom. It is essentially a lifestyle.

how do you feel about bdsm?9 years

I disagree. I think there CAN be a very intense overlap between feeding and BDSM. And it can work in lots of different ways. The stereotype is feeder=dom/me, feedee=sub, but if you look back in the threads on the BDSM forum, you'll see one about dom/me feedees, which makes perfect sense to me.

While I'm very conversant with BDSM communities and practices--you can't be a lefty in the SF Bay Area and not have lots of friends in those scenes--I'm not especially interested in more than a bit of light play.

For these reasons--a) it's very movable, and smiley not everyone feels it--I don't think it's *inherent* in feeding to be overlaid with BDSM. Rather, I think power play is a common part of sexuality: for some, a major component, for others of us, a minor one. And I think that's why it maps so readily onto feeding.

My two bits, Jx

how do you feel about bdsm?9 years

Wow, I'm surprised I got so many answers already! It's fascinating to read what you guys think about the whole issue--there are so many details and points of view I hadn't thought of. "Food for thought" indeed. smiley

how do you feel about bdsm?9 years

I'm honestly not into BDSM in the slightest, sure i'd muck around with it if the girl i was with was keen on it but short of that i have no interest.

Yet i love feederism, i don't see it as a power exchange, and where it becomes one i kind of lose interest.

Feederism is about the joy of food and mass consumption, the side effects and beautiful fatness, it is all incredibly erotic and i find it even more so when it is mutualy shared between two people.

Just being a straight one person feeder and one person feedee relationship seems rather boring too me...

how do you feel about bdsm?9 years

I think eagledancer covered the whole array of answers that will be posted in this thread, but I'd just like to add myself to the list of people who are into feederism, but not BSDM.

I can see the overlap, but it's not big enough imo to claim that feederism is a sub genre of BSDM or that you need to have sub/dom relationship in feederism.

[edit]
Also if the relationship would have to be sub/dom, I'd prefer to be a sub feeder. Weird, huh.
[edit]

-Sev

how do you feel about bdsm?7 years

Feeding does have as role in BDSM role play. I say this as a fat man who has been fed as part of bdsm role play.

how do you feel about bdsm?2 years

I am a Feeder Mistress. Men gain weight for Me. It's another form of D/s. I use forms of mind bending through pain and pleasure to train subs. They call for orders and I give them orders. It is a Dom/sub lifestyle for Me. If there are other kinks related to our play (forced bi, dressing up, pain, whatever) then it happens.

how do you feel about bdsm?1 week

Nerdzilla wrote
I can not imagine that feederism has a home within the BDSM community. It tends (as far as I can see) to be a monolithic activity - it has no intrinsic bondage, power exchange, giving or receiving of pain.

MollyRen:
(emphasis mine)

See, all this time I've been thinking of a feeder/feedee relationship as a kind of power exchange. As a feeder, I'd be given (consensual) control over someone else's body...and if that isn't toppy, what is?


They may think of BDSM as more extreme. I agree with your point of view.
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