Submission and domination

Explaining this fetish to bf?

OxrexO wrote:

I just add stuff into my fantasies but it's hard to explain that I pretend he's shovin my face into a pie while he ***s me from behind...


Ahahahaahhaa I know this is a serious post but that really made me laugh! I understand your difficulties telling your bf. I have a long term bf who knows a bit about what I'm into but not the specifics and MAN I am TERRIFIED to tell him the details. I have almost come to the conclusion that I just can't. It makes me want to curl up and die. Unfortunately it feels so extremely shaming and embarrassing that I'd almost rather just forget it with him and carry on pretending. Which is also not really a viable option. I can talk about it fine with people I meet through the community/here but not with him and I can't work out why. It's not as if he's a judgmental or blinkered person or anything, he's pretty open-minded. Ugh the very thought makes me anxious. I think part of the problem is that I'm a follower not a leader when it comes to bedroom stuff so putting myself out on a limb and saying "this is what I like, perhaps you might too, hey let's do THIS" is too scary and uncomfortable to contemplate. What a cowardly custard.
11 years

Explaining this fetish to bf?

LaDiDa wrote:

I feel like this particular kink is sooooo taboo and misunderstood. Too misunderstood to even mention to a lover who loves me, without fearing that my entire personality and how they view me will be clouded by it. Urgh.

I just find it so frustrating that I feel perfectly fine telling them I want them to tie me up, and yet too afraid to add "and then tease me about my belly".



THIS, totally.
11 years

Explaining this fetish to bf?

Wow, it's sad to see so many women scared to share this with their partners, but I guess it shows that it's not just guys who deal with this.
11 years

Explaining this fetish to bf?

Gratz!

Always wonderful to hear another success story, gives the rest of us hope. smiley
11 years

Explaining this fetish to bf?

Roseblack wrote:
I'm glad everything worked out for you and your partner! Just to add, I had never really thought about the idea that food and sex could go together until my boyfriend told me that he was into it. I'm so happy that he told me, as I've been able to discover new things that I like too. I think it's always good to be open and honest with your partner, you might be pleasantly surprised like my boyfriend was with me! Also, it's not good to repress what you want sexually, it makes me so sad that people are made to feel scared/ashamed of what they desire. Ideally we'd live in a non-judgemental world!
Absolutely...I just wish I had felt able to be honest with myself and others earlier about my sexual desires smiley
11 years

Explaining this fetish to bf?

OxrexO wrote:
Hey! I've been on this site on and off for a couple years now (not nessisarily on this account) and its helped me to accept that I'll never stop being ridiculously into this stuff and it helped me recognize that I need to think about it in order to cum.

I've talked to my new-ish (five months) boyfriend about it a little bit by have been to nervous to into detail about it. I basically said I'm into food/weight control but didn't specify that I'm really only into the weight gain aspect. I also left out the stuff about force feeding and stuffing and such... And I told him I'd never try it anyway even though part of me really wants to.

Hes having a really hard time understanding my thought process behind it and gets really angry when I'm unable to go into more detail about it cause I'm nervous. Even though he's dominant, he thinks that my fetish is ***ed up becuse "no one should want to completely give that much control to someone"

I want to explain to him that it can be a role play and doesn't need to be 24/7.
Also I need to explain to him that I need to think about this stuff in order to cum. I tried telling him and he freaked out " when I'm ***ing you I'm thinking about YOU"... I wanted to say I think about you too, I just add stuff into my fantasies but it's hard to explain that I pretend he's shovin my face into a pie while he ***s me from behind...
How do I get more comfortable with explaining this to my bf?
Has anyone else had simular experiences?


you don't have to explain it. He's not going to be into your fetish nor will he understand it.

Would you really want a guy shoving your face into a pie who thinks its weird?

Thats like if someone had a bdsm fetish and then wanted their gf (who didn't share the fetish) to dress up like a dominatrix and whip them.

It's simple really. If you ever want to explore this fetish sexually with someone then you'll have to find someone who is into it.

edit:
Ha nevermind. I only read your first post in this thread. Anyways, I think my advice still applies. You have to find someone who is into it. And it sounds like your man is. So good luck smiley

btw..guys will be into anything if it is going to get us sex lol. I've found myself getting into other girls kinks and roleplaying with them when in fact i have no interest in the particular fetish. But i get really into it like i am. I guess i'm just a pleaser.
11 years