forum  extreme obesity

do feeders ever feel guilty??4 years

I have this ultimate fantasy of fattening a guy up, and ssbhm's are my idea of totally sexy, the idea of him growing out of all his clothing and struggling to get out of bed excites me! Then I have these horrible moments where I think that maybe actually doing that to someone could put their health and happiness at risk, even if they're into it. It makes me feel so guilty, has anyone else experienced this? smiley

do feeders ever feel guilty??4 years

Yes and no.

In general, no, because I wouldn't want a person to gain weight if it made them uncomfortable, unhealthy or unhappy, or, of course, if it was something they didn't want to do. It is their body, after all. These things considered, I generally have nothing to feel guilty about.

But sometimes I do feel guilty for my desires in general. I know I find it hot when a guy gets tired out quicker and part of me feels bad for that. I had a bit of a bad experience with my ex where he told me wanted to gain weight and then when he had a change of heart he turned on me and told me the reason he didn't go out often and the reason he felt miserable was all my fault... admittedly this was completely untrue and he actually went out more, did more and generally seemed less depressed than when I first met him but it still really hurt, you know? So I do understand the guilt.

(I should probably add that I am not a feeder as such, more just a FFA who enjoys getting more to cuddle)

do feeders ever feel guilty??4 years

YEP I have it and I deal with it in my own way.

Different people will have different ways of dealing with that type of guilt, for me I establish certain rules.

For example, if my partner is someone who is not a feedee I will not express my fetish with them.

I might tell them that I have this fetish but I would never want them to take part in it. When someone decides that they're going to take part in it to please me (even if I don't want them to) I feel guilty.

Potentially putting their health at risk so I can be turned on makes me feel like a selfish disgusting pervert.

On the other hand, if they ARE into it then there is another rule. My partner must be able to take care of themselves and be financially independent, this means there is a limit to how much weight someone can gain. If they aren't independent then the relationship isn't really much of a choice, is it? I view it as potentially leading to a toxic relationship.

People should only really be involved in feederism/feedism for themselves, they shouldn't do it for other people.

And even then, there needs to be ground rules.

do feeders ever feel guilty??4 years

My experience so far is that feeders show very little remorse or even respect for a feedee's boundaries. The word "aggressive" comes to mind. Mind you: this is my *personal* experience and so far it has been *online only*. I think I may have been unfortunate enough to attract the attention of hardcore fetishists, lol.

I think it's part of the feedee/feeder dynamic to work out an arrangement that suits both individuals and I think it's the responsibility of the feedee to be very, very clear about what he/she finds acceptable and is comfortable with. Basically what I'm getting at is "consent". It doesn't eradicate or avoid all feelings of guilt, but at least it opens up the possibility of open communication.

do feeders ever feel guilty??4 years

When or if I ever get into an actual feeding relationship with someone I would never want my feeder to feel guilty over liking my weight and wanting me to get fatter. Because those are a couple of things that I like too.

Of course preserving health as much as possible is an issue. But there are ways to make sure that you don't get too unhealthy.

Anyway, back on track, if in my hypothetical feeding relationship my feeder girlfriend was feeling guilty over feeding and fattening me I'd want her to talk to me about it. So we could work through that.

do feeders ever feel guilty??4 years

Although I have not yet been in an active feeder/feedee relationship I know that in the short term I get over eager, but in the long term I am over protective.

Should my wife ever give consent to gain, I would probably get super excited, just to follow with worrying if she was sure about it.

So in theory, I'd be riddled guilt... but until I experience it I wouldn't know. I might be a fat-crazed sociopath who would force feed a woman to immobility for my sick pleasure. :/

do feeders ever feel guilty??4 years

When I was younger I felt guilty about being attracted to fat women. I found an extremely sexy combination to be fat women who were kind and accepting of others and viewed the world is basically an enjoyable place. In high school there was this 300 pound or so female student who did not like blacks, did might like Puerto Ricans, and did not like much of anything. The more she talked the less attractive she became.

I felt very guilty about being attracted to fat women because how could I be attracted to something which was bad for the person's health. As a caring compassionate person I believed that no matter how attractive I found a woman's fat body it was my responsibility to try to make them healthier by encouraging them to get thin.

Finally I realized that, in the vast majority of cases, the best way to gain weight is to go on a diet. Once I realized that encouraging fat women to diet would only make them bigger I also realized that I could enjoy their beauty and softness without feeling guilty that I was enjoying something that was bad for their health and what I should actually be doing, no matter how much I disliked it, was trying to make them thinner.

On this board I do not post comments such as, "You go girl!" There are some women who ask to be insulted and called pigs in such names. Even though I understand that they enjoy being insulted and belittle I refused to participate.

I do occasionally post comments in which I thank some of the many beautiful women here for shared their beauty with the many people here who appreciate the beauty of the fat body.

I've interacted with many fat women in my life. I have tried to follow the rule of "Never sleep with somebody significantly crazier than you are".

Only once do I specifically remember encouraging a fat women to get bigger I was in a relationship with her and she had reached 535 pounds. I suggested that since she was so close that she should go ahead and try for 550 she declined and I did not try to force the issue.

A few of the women I've interacted with over the years have gotten thinner however the vast majority of them have such enjoyable personalities that the pleasure of interacting with their personality overcame the increasing thinness of them.


Once for a couple of months I had the sheer joy of interacting with someone who was mutually gaining with me. I do not remember how much she gained but I know that in 10 weeks I gained 30 pounds. At that point she became frightened about what was happening and so the gaining stopped.


I enjoy being encouraged to gain and I especially enjoyed it the one time I was able to find someone who was deliberately gaining with me. That was such a wonderful experience. Such people are very rare and I have not found one since.

do feeders ever feel guilty??4 years

I sometimes feel this way! But...if you are in a relationship in which your partner welcomes feeding and gaining then don't worry so much.

Recently I went through some things that destroyed the notions I had about what makes a good life. What is the point of living each day without happiness!? Why spend the years of your life denying your inner desires. Happiness should be your top priority!

If Turning yourself or your partner into a sexy fat god/goddess that makes the bed quake makes them or you happy then don't worry so muchsmiley. Quality of life is key and Happiness is a huge component of that.

Be happy together in your life smiley[color=violet][/color]

do feeders ever feel guilty??3 years

Admirefromafar wrote:
I have this ultimate fantasy of fattening a guy up, and ssbhm's are my idea of totally sexy, the idea of him growing out of all his clothing and struggling to get out of bed excites me! Then I have these horrible moments where I think that maybe actually doing that to someone could put their health and happiness at risk, even if they're into it. It makes me feel so guilty, has anyone else experienced this? smiley
I Feel the same way more often than not. Just to put a twist on this; What about a person that likes to feel bad. So they force fatten someone? Lol

do feeders ever feel guilty??3 years

Admirefromafar wrote:
I have this ultimate fantasy of fattening a guy up, and ssbhm's are my idea of totally sexy, the idea of him growing out of all his clothing and struggling to get out of bed excites me! Then I have these horrible moments where I think that maybe actually doing that to someone could put their health and happiness at risk, even if they're into it. It makes me feel so guilty, has anyone else experienced this? smiley


We are given but one life to live, and we should live it in joy and fullness! If both partners consent, then this kind of fattening is not something evil or something you should be ashamed of.

Rather, you are fulfilling the pleasures of you both. At the most, you could be knocking a few months or years off his life, but ask him: Would you rather live your life in joy and a bit shorter, or live a longer life and never know the joy of this kind of fattening?

Life is risky anyway. We all take risks for the pleasure -- rockclimbing, biking, hiking, swimming! Why can't overeating and gaining weight be as pleasurable -- even if it is risky?!
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