forum  fat experiences

body anxiety3 years

I have really bad anxiety and a history of body dysmorphia--when I was younger I constantly dieted and starved myself during a few years of intense bullying and even now it leaves an imprint on my mind.

I really love my body the way it is--I adore my fatness,the strength of my muscles, my shape, the way my body moves and works from the inside out. I love eating, and while I prefer healthier meals I love eating lots. It's unfortunate, but even though I really love myself sometimes my anxiety gets the best of me.

I really like the way my body is right now--I don't wish to gain nor do I wish to lose. Since I like to eat a lot, sometimes I panic about weight gain. Now while I enjoyed weight gain in the past I don't wish to do it anymore, so please respect my personal choice. Even though both I and my partner can tell I've gained no weight, my body dysmorphia gets the best of me and I start endlessly fretting even though I eat the same way I have for years and I've never gained any extra poundage doing so.

It really sucks because I just want to love my body without any problems but this has been cropping up more and more lately. I'm not really sure how to ease any of this because despite loving myself it still happens and the only advice professionals give is to simply lose weight... It's difficult to understand that I don't want to lose or gain, and while I do a good job of maintaining I can't control my anxieties about the whole situation. I'm doing what I can to combat these feelings so I can achieve a holistic feeling of self love and acceptance, but it feels like a journey sometimes.

Has anyone else ever had any similar anxieties or experiences?

body anxiety3 years

ghoulfriend:
i have really bad BDD and tbh it's so bad i literally have no idea what my body really even looks like.

i've never felt really any love for my body or anything. it's been a fight my whole life and its driven me literally insane at times. i hope it gets better for both of us some day.


I can really understand how this feels. It can be a lot of a struggle to figure out what exactly is up with your body when there's something out of your control making it unable to see the reality.

I'm so sorry that it has been such a struggle for you--I can understand feeling insane at times. I know there's been points where I'm unable to eat anything or after eating I'm obsessively asking my partner "will i gain weight? have i gained weight? please just touch me and look at me harder, just make sure" and it really sucks because I want to simply enjoy my body and eating. Sometimes I can, other times it's terrible... There's really no way of knowing. If I'm being honest, one of my reasons for joining this site was to kinda explore my love for my body/fatness/and the fetish aspect to hopefully help me fight against my anxieties and negative feelings.

I'd like to think it will get better someday. smiley If you ever need to talk please let me know.

body anxiety3 years

I think A LOT of people feel this way - not sure if this helps or not smiley

If it's not for a reason, it's for another. I'm petite and I had such a hard time as a teenager.

My cousin is this incredibly gorgeous charismatic skinny stunning dark Spanish beauty (yeah, I have a girl crush on her smiley) and I've seen her crying and acting so insecure because she says her breasts are too small and she has no curves and she doesn't feel like a real woman (her words, not mine).

What I'm trying to say is that for many different reasons we all feel like we don't fit in sometimes - despite the reason for that.

I don't know what the answer is but you are not alone.

Big hugs, you are gorgeous! x

body anxiety3 years

I can relate. Heck I go through phases of wanting to eat a lot and wanting to diet. It's not easy when so many people parade the so called perfect body. Heck girls get picky with guys as much as they are with girls. It's a challenge but know your not alone.

body anxiety3 years

I have a lot of anxiety but what I'm finally learning is that you gain some self love after awhile. I have a tiny bit that I'm holding onto and really use your mate as a rock. That's what they are there for! I know mine helps me a lot in the times that I'm down!

body anxiety3 years

It's really crappy that a lot of people have felt like this no matter their gender or how they look--and it really sucks. Every body deserves love and respect so it's horrible that people end up feeling like this.

I've been fat my entire life and I've really loved myself for about four years now--it's not the fact that I dislike my body or anything, it's a simple matter that there's a voice inside my head telling me I shouldn't be allowed to, and that translates into a fear of what might happen if I change it at all--if that makes sense. I've never once had the urge to diet or lose weight, so the idea of gaining AND losing weight (especially after eating) can send me into an anxiety attack and I get damn near obsessive. I'm glad I have a supportive significant other who's there for me, but I know I'm just right the way I am and he lets me know I'm perfect every day... It's just that the anxiety is something completely out of my control.

It feels really wonderful to find solidarity in this with so many others--I've honestly felt so alone in this intense anxiety for a very long time and I've felt like I don't know anyone who properly understands completely loving their body but trying to fight against uncontrollable anxiety. I've never thought one body was better than another, so seeing that this sort of disordered thinking affects so many and not just a singular type is so important to note. It gives us all the more reason to lift each other up and respect one another instead of listening only to the really terrible things people have to say about bodies. I've been working really hard recently though, and I think I've done so much better in dealing with it than I did before.

body anxiety2 years

I've gained about 20 lb and have a big belly despite the rest being relatively slim. Most of my clothes are outgrown... While it turns me on to go out in tight clothes, I still get a slight twinge of anxiety about it. It's better when I know I'm going somewhere where I don't know anyone.

body anxiety6 months

Hey, don't sweat it. Before, I became chubby, I had a terrible degree of anxiety on account of the fact that I'm very short for a guy. Once, I gained weight, I had violated two. rules of what not to be...... I was short and fat for a guy. When I began to focus on things that I wanted, people would feed off of my positive energy. I was like a luminary. Focus on what makes you happy and life will work it's self out.

body anxiety6 months

johniav:
Hey, don't sweat it. Before, I became chubby, I had a terrible degree of anxiety on account of the fact that I'm very short for a guy. Once, I gained weight, I had violated two. rules of what not to be...... I was short and fat for a guy. When I began to focus on things that I wanted, people would feed off of my positive energy. I was like a luminary. Focus on what makes you happy and life will work it's self out.


This sounds like me to a t. I'm short: not quite 5' 6", fat and bald (so, I shave it). I feared becoming the stereotypical short fat bald guy ala Danny De Vito, the "time to make the donuts" Dunkin Donuts guy, or the short fat grandpa. I'm gray, and my beard gives people the opportunity to make Santa Claus comments. Contrary to how most people feel about Santa Claus, he kind of creeps me out. :o

Anyway, little by little I've simply become comfortable with what I look like and how I feel about myself in spite of other people's expectations and judgements. It's a process, sometimes slow and painful but I think the anxiety and self-doubt do go away.

body anxiety6 months

johniav:
Hey, don't sweat it. Before, I became chubby, I had a terrible degree of anxiety on account of the fact that I'm very short for a guy. Once, I gained weight, I had violated two. rules of what not to be...... I was short and fat for a guy. When I began to focus on things that I wanted, people would feed off of my positive energy. I was like a luminary. Focus on what makes you happy and life will work it's self out.

MarshmallowMinotaur:
This sounds like me to a t. I'm short: not quite 5' 6", fat and bald (so, I shave it). I feared becoming the stereotypical short fat bald guy ala Danny De Vito, the "time to make the donuts" Dunkin Donuts guy, or the short fat grandpa. I'm gray, and my beard gives people the opportunity to make Santa Claus comments. Contrary to how most people feel about Santa Claus, he kind of creeps me out. :o

Anyway, little by little I've simply become comfortable with what I look like and how I feel about myself in spite of other people's expectations and judgements. It's a process, sometimes slow and painful but I think the anxiety and self-doubt do go away.
I agree 100%

body anxiety6 months

I think most of us have had body anxiety at some point, it's probably a lot of the reason why we have this fetish. Myself, I've always had an intense fear of getting fat, because I've always been ashamed of being slightly chubby in my childhood and teens.

I've spent the better part of my 20's on a regular exercise regimen to keep fat away, which I've done pretty successfully. However, this whole time I've been incredibly anxious and not happy with myself, feeling guilt whenever I eat as much as I used to when I was younger.

Now, I find the idea of getting fatter to be intense and incredibly exciting. It's really forbidden and taboo - like you described, I would feel intense panic and shame when I overate. I think it's partly due to those old feelings that I find intentionally overeating to get fatter to be so pleasurable.

It's hard not to have strong feelings about fat. It's unacceptable to most of society. But I hope that your own strong feelings about fat become love, excitement, and self acceptance.

body anxiety2 weeks

I suffer from the same kind of thing, I think self confidence a fragile thing my gf can say "you're gorgeous" and I believe her. Sadly not everyone can be as loving and kind as those that get to know us. I have been big a long time and live in a country where it is almost taboo to stray out of the normal BMI, so my body confidence takes a beating on a regular basis. I made my mind up to say "fuck em" and when not working or on call I hang out with friends and don't avoid social situations, it's hard but I cannot live my life based on how I'm percieved physically by people that lets face it, don't matter. You are a lovely looking and wanted by more people than you can imagine. 1 of the side efdects of being more social is that I get hit on more, ok 40% are bear chasers but I accept the compliment. Very long ramble to say, you are attractive and dont forget it

body anxiety2 weeks

I've never had issues with my body confidence. It could be due to never dating anybody or inherently having a different way of thinking.

At any rate, cherish the body you have and it'll cherish you. It's the only one you're ever going to get.

body anxiety2 weeks

I definitely had this for awhile when I started gaining. I was always very aware how my belly looked and if I looked fat in pictures.

I've gotten over it as time has passed and have really come to enjoy my body.

Still, it isn't easy. The last few pounds I've gained have gone straight to my moobs and I am still self conscious of how they look in certain shirts. Everything is always a work in progress I guess.
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