I am a masochist feedee, in my fantasies anyway. This whole thing is mostly just in my head and not in my real life. But my fantasies are not about someone taking care of me with food. I like the idea that something I can't resist (food) makes me gain weight, get fat, out of shape, looked down upon by many, makes me lose control again and again of my body and I like the idea of a feeder who gets off on that with me. You would never guess this about me in real life, so I'm sure there are others like me out there.
giwi:
I also had erotic fantasies about weightgain in my childhood so I think such things are not defined by some incident in puberty. The french philosopher Georges Bataille has interesting thoughts on lust in general. He writes that it is always connected to transgression - crossing into forbidden territory, so to speak, like 'get dirty'. In hies view, the thrill of arousal is linked to fear, comparable to the thrill we experience when riding a roller coaster or doing a base jump etc. So, this is like a general underlying pattern of any kind of sexual orientation and we feeders, feedees and FAs just find our specific way of getting into forbidden territory in the taboo zone of fatness.
Personally, I feel my interest in feederism is a variation of sadism, a sadism with the outer appearance of friendly care. I�m really into the details of a woman getting out of shape, supporting that with encouragement is not a friendly act on my side but a strategy to get her into a state of unfitness so that I can tease and humilate her. Don�t get me wrong, I value mutual respect, I have a sense of awe towards women I find attractive and generally I try to be a friendly, 'good' person. But concerning feederism I must say that I perceive it as some kind of lust of manipulation, of fooling someone and than taking advantage.
I found it to be tricky to be outspoken about these darker aspects of lust in a relationship, the women I encountered that can relate in some way to the role of a feedee were mostly interested in aspects of support and care that are linked to food and it�s supply. Where are you in real life, masochist feedees?