I'd wanted to be fat for literally as long as I could remember, but it was hard to force myself to eat a lot. I finally had to take the plunge when I was 12, because it was becoming a total obsession.
I always thought fat guys were sexy and wanted to be like them. While I’m not sure about being fat myself anymore, and am losing weight for medical reasons, I still think fat guys are hot as hell.
Since I was a kid I always loved the idea of having a bunch of softness around me to play with and enjoy. Later on I found sites like dimensions and here and realized I enjoyed both sides of the coin so to speak. Granted haven't been able to make much progress since then but still trying to get back to look like I had when I'd stuff blankets under my clothes and things like that.