chapter 1

Joanna Kushner was a hard-driving, incredibly brilliant, amazingly creative, and remarkably inventive systems analyst with Brilliant Investments, LLC, right up until the moment that Brilliant Investments was acquired by Engulf and Devour, a huge, multi-national, conglomerate. E&D had more than enough computer geniuses working for it already so, as talented as she was, Joanna became excess baggage.

At first, this wasn't so bad. She remodeled her kitchen, remodeled her bathroom, painted her condo from top to bottom and even spent some time decluttering her storage area. But, after this whirlwind of activity, suddenly Joanna found she had a lot of time on her side. Now Engulf and Devour had given her a very generous separation package, so money wasn't a big concern. But for a self-confessed workaholic like Joanna, free time quickly became VERY draining. In short, Joanna Kushner got BORED, very bored. And when she got bored, she ate.

Now you have to understand one thing. Joanna had NEVER had a problem with her weight. In fact, if anything, she was probably underweight at 5'9 and 108 pounds. For the most part this was because she was always on the go. When she got wrapped up in a project, which was often, she'd just forget to eat. She had always been physically active and maintained membership in a local gym, even though she didn't spend much time there, given her hectic schedule. But that was now a thing of the past.

About two months after her departure from her brilliant career, Joanna Kushner had nothing to do. She got up one morning and, just on a whim mind you, made herself a huge breakfast. She had a stack of pancakes, drenched in butter and syrup and a cheese omelet with hash browns and two slices of well buttered toast. It had been years since she'd eaten that much in the morning, who had time for a big breakfast when work usually started at six a.m.?

Not being used to being that full, really at any time, Joanna sort of ambled to her couch, turned on the TV to some home remodeling channel and promptly fell asleep. She got up around one in the afternoon, feeling surprisingly hungry. So she made herself a grilled cheese sandwich, microwaved some fries and washed it all down with a super smoothie she concocted for herself. Then she turned on the TV and vegged out on the couch watching the History Channel.

She woke up around five in the afternoon and felt in the mood for dinner. She didn't feel much like getting out of her sweats just to go to some restaurant, so she ordered out for some pizza. She downed a whole medium pizza, had three or four beers, ate a rather large bowl of ice cream for dessert and went to bed for the night, never for a moment thinking about the effect of all those calories on her sylphlike figure.

Thing is, when she got up the next morning, she felt fantastic. She felt almost liberated. She wasn't chained to her desk in front of a computer screen. She didn't have to worry about some project deadline. And, best of all, she didn't have to fuss over what to wear, how her hair looked and whether she had too much or too little makeup. She got up. Washed her face. Brushed her teeth. Combed her hair. And sat down to another sumptuous breakfast, to be followed by a filling lunch, and hearty dinner and an absolutely delicious chocolate malt that she made for herself with heavy cream, lots of ice cream, plenty of chocolate and a couple of eggs for good measure.

And the next day was exactly the same, and the next and the next. The thing about having a lot of time on your hands is that it tends to dull the senses. You sort of put your brain into park and let it sit there, idle. And so it was with Joanna Kushner. She would just go from day to day, living life as though she was on some kind of vacation cruise, lazing around, watching TV, and eating, especially eating. This went on for a month. It would have lasted longer but for the fact that she got a reminder call from her doctor's office that it was time for her yearly physical. The appointment was for eight in the morning and Joanna didn't look forward to it. She wasn't nervous about it, she just didn't relish the prospect of being rousted out of bed by a loud alarm clock at seven in the morning.

Yes, the sound of her alarm clock buzzing would be a shock to her system, but that wasn't the ONLY shock that Joanna Kushner would get that day, as she was soon to find out!