Chapter 1 - i cannot stop

There is no way I will ever stop eating and gaining weight now. It is just too joyful and pleasurable to work myself into a binge -- ahh, that hungry, horny, fattening feeling.

I can't stop it. Some might say it's an addiction, and they could be right. Combine the human needs (and pleasures) of food and sex, and I am what you get: A big fat horny girl. I can't stop it.

And with Chase encouraging me, what chance do I have? Chase is my boyfriend, and I would like to blame how fat I've gotten on him, but I know it all started long before him. Even when I was a little girl, I saw how people acted at Thanksgiving time, when their eyes would light up at all that delicious food! And I saw how my parents and others would struggle to lose weight as if it were a sin to be fat.

I would often get pillows or even my stuffed animals and stuff them up under my dress, and then parade in front of the mirror for hours, showing off to myself just how "fat" I had gotten.

I always stored those memories and feelings away, kind of embarrassed about them.

And then I met Chase. He figured me out. I suppose it wasn't hard. Other boyfriends didn't notice me nearly salivating and squirming in my chair when being served delicious foods. But Chase was different. He paid attention, and before long, all my kinkiness was out on full display.

Chase is what you might call a feeder. I think at first he just did it to bring me joy, but now it seems to have become an obsession with him.

Not that I wouldn't participate willingly, but he does push me pretty hard sometimes. And he seems to get special pleasure out of forcefeeding me, even when I tell him that I am full.

And our sex life, wow, it is quite the spectacle. I can't recall the last time we had sex without him feeding me at the same time - or at least making sure I was eating. With him between my huge soft thighs, pleasuring me, making me bounce and writhe, my fat jiggling and wobbling, well, it's turning me on to even talk about it right this minute.

"Imagine how horny you will feel when you are twice this size," Chase will whisper in my ear as he feeds me chocolate cake. He knows how much it turns me on that my belly - and really my whole body - is getting bigger and bigger. He teases me sometimes, makes me wear clothes that I have outgrown just to watch me split out of them. Even the humiliating things he says turn me on. I tell you, it drives me wild the things he says and how he keeps me well-fed.

When we first met, he would say, "You look nice, but you'll look even better with a little meat on those bones."

And I was bony back then, or nearly so. I weighed 122 pounds. As you can see, I am easily three times that now, maybe more.

I like to think that I have become the lusty gluttonous goddess I was always destined to be. Maybe my strange memories and Chase's natural abilities have just come together wonderfully to make me the woman I am today.

I worry that I can't stop. Really, I can't imagine life without getting fatter and fatter. But I know this can't go on forever. And if it does, well, I am concerned about what will happen to me.

"I'll be here to help you and take care of you forever," Chase says. But I see his eye wondering when we go to the buffet, and some slim cutie is loading up her plate there. I tell him how that makes me feel, but then when we get home, he ties me up and really stuffs me well.

Not that I don't enjoy it. That's the problem: I enjoy it all too much.