Chapter 1 - parental expectations

When I introduced my new girlfriend to my parents, it was obvious that they were not happy about it, despite me having been single for a very long while before it. Actually, the only thing they were not happy about, was her weight. She wasn't just a little plump, she was fat by most people's standards, fat enough that probably for many the word "fat" was the first to come to their minds when seeing her the first time. She had wide hips, plump arms, puffy cheeks, and her belly was just round enough to rest in her lap when she sat down.

My parents tried to not hurt her feelings, tried to not be obviously impolite, but as doing sports, being fit, and being thin were very high on their list of life goals, their discontent could be felt in the air. They were often trying to give hints like "we're not judgmental but..", right before saying something very judgmental about her, and telling "we don't want to persuade you", right before trying to persuade me to make her lose weight. Most of our dates were at fast food restaurants, and they could rarely refrain from commenting on it. Her habit that whenever there were any snacks around, she kept nibbling on them mindlessly all the time, wasn't missed by their scrutiny either. They talked to me about these things when she wasn't around, in a conspiratorial tone, whispering to me as if they had found out some mysterious secret. It was often difficult for me to stop myself from retorting in a sarcastic voice "wow, thanks, I wouldn't even have noticed she's fat if you didn't remind me". Her cheerful attitude seemed to bother them as well. Instead of constantly fretting about losing weight as her top life goal, it was at most on the twentieth place on her list of priorities in the rare case she even though about it at all. Her weight wasn't as huge to cause limitations or too many inconveniences in day to day life, so it didn't bother her all too much. They saw this as a proof of her being weak-willed, we saw it as just enjoying life.


Imagine their annoyance, that over a little less than two years, she actually gained the amount of weight my parents wished she had lost, swelling up from a round but well-proportioned form to a very flabby and out of shape body. And imagine how relieved they were as we broke up afterward, and despite this breakup had absolutely nothing to do with her weight, my parents still thought I dumped her because she was "not good enough" for me.

The greatest shock for them came when I got together with my next girlfriend and they invited us over. Their usual politeness could barely hide their astonishment when they've seen both her hips brushing against the doorway as she entered, and couldn't keep themselves from gaping as she waddled across the room, her thighs rubbing together and her belly bulging far out, hanging down and swaying around with her every step, the floor creaking under her weight, until she finally reached the wide club chair in a corner of the room, which she filled out completely, her hips barely being able to squeeze into it, leaving some folds of fat overflowing the armrests. She even had to spread her legs apart after she sat down, to allow some of her belly to flow down between her thighs, so it wouldn't push her enormous breasts into her face whenever she tried to lean just a little forward. Despite my previous girlfriend having gained a lot of weight, the new one was a whole new category bigger. Her entire body was covered with rolls of fat, with soft mounds stretching her clothes on her hips, her side, even on her back, all jiggling after her every movement. Huge sacks of fat were hanging from her arms, which were thicker than most people's thighs, and her neck was almost completely hidden beyond her enormous double chin.

At first my parents suspected I've chosen her only to spite them, it was very difficult for them to comprehend that I truly love her, that I accept her as she is, and that I can find someone beautiful whose girth is larger than her height. That her size is actually a bonus in my eyes instead of a drawback, would have been even more difficult for them to understand. The most inconceivable for them was that she wasn't hating herself for her size, she wasn't weak and out of control, it has been her conscious decision from long before I've first met her, that she loves the feeling of having stuffed herself completely full with the most delicious food, and she accepts the consequences it has on her body. Having always had a great appetite with nigh-irresistible food cravings and a naturally slow metabolism, gaining weight was inevitable, so she had to choose between getting fat slowly while suffering all the time because of not being able to eat what she wanted, or getting fat somewhat faster while allowing herself to freely indulge in whatever she desired.


Now, after having been together for two years, it's funny to remember how huge everyone thought she was back then. Huge? Come on! Her belly button barely reached down to her hipline back then, and there were still some doors she could squeeze herself through without having to turn sideways. Back then, I could still wrap my arms around her, even if only barely, now there is no chance for my hands to even get close to reaching each other. Even when I met her, she got exhausted if she went up a flight of stairs without stopping, but now she can get out of breath even by walking the same distance horizontally. She was basically thin, she was so skinny, compared to how large she is now! People who were aghast at how much she was eating, would now be truly terrified seeing how much more food she can cram into her overextended stomach and how much sooner after stuffing herself to the brim she starts getting hungry again.

Everything is relative.

She would probably have continued gaining weight without meeting me, even if by far not as fast as she did in my company. Maybe the attention I gave her helped her to change her view about her ever increasing mass of fat from a side-effect she had to reluctantly accept, into something to be enjoyed on its own. Or maybe she would have arrived to this state of mind on her own, we will never know. Fact is, the ever increasing numbers showing up on the scale, during these two years slowly turned from a cost she had to endure in order to live her life as she wanted, into a progress to be excited about and into accomplishments to be proud of.

We just celebrated our anniversary, and as I mentioned how thin she looked two years ago, if we compared it to her current size, she started laughing:

"Yeah, if I was thin back then, I finally started getting a little chubby. But it will take a lot of work until we can make me become truly fat!"