my wonderous journy to becoming the person i want to be

chapter 1

This is my first story...ever on this topic...so please tell me if you want more or like or dislike it. Thank you!

Ever since the age of three or four , I wanted to be big. BIG , the only word I knew for fat at that time. Ha. Obviously I knew what it meant and I would fantasise about gaining a huge amount of weight.
I would put pillows under my T-shirt to look fatter or put as many heavy books on the scale as I could and then stand upon it to see what I would weigh. I thaught that I must have been crazy to believe that I wanted to become fat when EVERYONE else wanted to lose weight.

Now eleven years later (Yes I am 15, and probaply too young for this site , but I am here because of fate and of my dream of becoming obese or even morbidly obese/Immobile) I seek the the vallue of my dream in everything I do ; Am I doing it for the right reason , what will my parents and grandparents say or what will I do if I want to retern to my original body and rather go on the straight and narrow path. (pun intended!)

I am 100 lbs and a mere 5'6 tall at the age of 15. Along with wanting to be fat I also want to be much taller , around 6'5 would be perfect , but what can I do about that ?
Anyway , I am probaply the wort case scenario of becoming obese (I am also a Diabetic type 1 , since the age of 18 months and I have this disease to thank for my short height , as I had not grown for a full year when I was diagnosed)
So there you have my childhood summarised and almost exactly who I am and now you'll find out the rest.

Years later I found out that I liked to see fat men and women on the internet , and by doing so I noticed that I only wanted to see men who are obese and I wanted naked pictures , not even knowing what porn was at aged 13. I got my firts boner thinking I had a pee and absentmindingly went two or three times in a row without anything coming out and going back to the pictures giving me the exact same feeling.

I then found out I was gay when we learnt about sexuality in school and many of the boys around me knew what porn whas. I quickly went to pornhub that night only typing in Pornography ,oh how innocent I was. I went to the gay part and then had my first yank at it. It was two obese men having sex and I had a blast watching that.

Now here comes my dilemma again.
A 15 year old boy who is gay , wants to be tall and obese , who is also a Type 1 Diabetic , does not sound like a very good idea.

I tried to contact Dr Feeder him or herself to seek advise. All I get is the thaught that he/her does not care for my problems.

I still fantasise about gaining weight, seeing my belly start to get folds and going over my pants and later on hanging over it dangling around and jigling whenever I walk. Watching my arms and legs become larger and become engulfed by flab. Seeing my hands become fatter and my feet swolen. I want to have that damnit ! Am I the only wanna-be gainer on this planet who can't because of my idiotic-life threatening disease? I want to have that giant belly and fat feet and hands. I want to have that large apetite and feeling hungry and eating all the time. I want it to stop me from being active and having to do less for myself. I want a feeder who helps me approuch my goal and to overcome it and go to the next triumph. I WANT TO BE HUGE! Is it realy that much to ask? Doesn't any other gainers have that desire?

Tell me this , why can my disease threaten to kill me by eating an apple and not injecting for it , but my aperance and my wheight is more serious to attend to ?

Thanks for reading and I hope I get answers or what you think I should do. Also think of what you might have done in this situation and tell me in the comments!
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