chapter 1

"I got in! I'm going to France!" Charles exclaimed. He couldn't believe his good fortune. He never expected to get the scholarship that would allow his semester away.

"Are you serious?" asked Anthony, complete excitement in his voice.

"Yes! Yes! For a whole semester I will be surrounded by all things French!" Charles shouted giddily.

"But that means you are going to be gone until after winter break. You won't even be here for our first day of college," said Matthew, Charles' older, fraternal twin brother. You would think he was older by a lot more than five and a half minutes. He was three inches taller and fifty pounds heavier.

"But, this is really important. I have to go!" Charles stopped his celebrating and looked at his two closest friends. Maybe he shouldn't go. Maybe he could go in a year or two.

"I'm not saying don't go. It's just that, I'll...miss you." Matt wasn't too into showing his feelings. He rarely told his brother that he loved him. Charles had always been the more sensitive twin, loving romance and the French language over football and other physical activities. Charles had the makings of a gifted pole vaulter, but he never had the heart for it and quit junior year.

"Well, I say go for it," chimed in Anthony. "You may never get a chance like this again." He was the third member of the trio. They had been friends since...since...forever. They had always been close. It would even seem as if he were their triplet. He was almost as big as Matthew. He, however, didn't have sports to tone his sizable amount of weight, so he came off as rather soft in comparison.

"I am going, of course, but I just want to make sure you two will be fine without me. I would like to think I'm the ring leader of this trio." That started a rather large argument between the two brothers. Anthony just let them go at it. He was never much for confrontation, rather passive and quiet. He was the smartest member of the group with a full academic scholarship to university. The argument ended with Matthew claiming leadership.

"Guys, I really have to go. My mom is going to kill me if I don't do any chores on her list," Ant stated with a sense of urgency in his voice.

"You're eighteen!" shouted both Matthew and Charles.

"Would you disobey your mother?"

"Well, if you put it like that...," Matt said with a smile. They all burst out in laughter and Ant walked the block and a half to his house. He knew they'd be friends forever...they just had to be.

~

France awaited Charles a week before Matthew and Anthony would leave for school. They saw him off and waited for their turn to depart, spending each day together, often spending the night at each other's houses. July came and after the fourth they were off. Matthew had summer training for football and it was no way Anthony would wait for August to come alone. They would be in different dorms, only five minutes away.

They seemed to be spending more and more time apart. They were really good friends, but plans just kept falling through. Matthew always had a function or a date or practice. Anthony had never wished to have played football so much in his entire life. Then maybe he wouldn't feel so alone. He'd been inside his dorm all summer, getting ahead on work, and gaining weight. He had gained ten pounds as school was about to begin. The freshman fifteen had almost crept up on him completely before school even began. He was now 192 pounds, only ten pounds lighter than Matthew.

"Hey, Matt! Want to maybe, catch a movie. Or we could hit the mall. We could even get something to eat..."

"Uh, are you sure about that Ant? I mean, you're looking, kind of, full."

"I...I guess you're right." His eyes shot to the ground as his face reddened. "I just wanted to know if you wanted to hang out."

"I don't think so, not now at least, but it's this 'School Sucks, Summer Forever' party tonight. The whole team is going to be there. You should totally come check it out. We'll hang there."

"O...Okay." He went home to get ready. Matt said it started at nine. He never went to parties. The only times he ever got invited was because he was friends with Matthew and Charles. Nine came and he left for the party location. He walked in and saw it was already started. There was lots of beer, but Ant licked his lips as he saw a table piled high with snacks. He didn't drink, but snacks were always nice.

He grabbed a handful of chips and tried to find Matt. He spotted him surrounded by girls. Squeezing his arms and ogling at his perfect ass. He stopped; those girls would find him repulsive. He was never too good with girls, they were never into him. He was always with Matt and Charlie. Matt, was the hot jock, and Charlie was the "Romeo." He was just average.

He also preferred something other than girls, something he never told anyone. He knew for sure when he saw Matthew naked sophomore year. He was so shocked he felt that way about his best friend. He didn't want to be gay. He couldn't handle it. He dreamed of Matthew. He knew he liked Charles, but not the same way he felt about Matt.

He decided not to go near him. He was about to leave. "Anthony! What's up?" Matt broke away from the under dressed group of ladies and walked over to his friend.

"No...Nothing," Anthony replied.

"Have a beer!" Ant could tell that Matthew had already had a few himself.

"Were not old enough to drink," he whispered to Matt, trying to bring him to his senses.

"So what!" he exclaimed. "Who cares, big guy." The girls were laughing and staring. He blushed as Matthew rubbed his belly, which was getting a bit soft.

"Matt, buddy, you're drunk. Let's go." He blocked out the fact he loved the feeling of Matt's large, warm hand pressing against his flabby middle.

"Shut up! Why are you always such a ***ing drag? I see why me and Charlie are your only friends."

"I...I'll talk to you later." He dashed from the party feeling embarrassed and heartbroken. He never thought that was how they felt about him.

After that, Matthew had wanted to apologize, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything. He was so embarrassed by the way he had behaved. The whole first semester flew by without nearly a word between them.

Anthony got fatter and fatter, finding comfort in snacks when cramming for an exam. He never exercised. At least in high school there was physical education. He'd lounge around his dorm room all day, even during the weekend. Reading and studying were his friends. Thirty more pounds found their way onto his 6'0" frame, bringing him to 222 pounds.

Matthew noticed but said nothing. He felt like such a jerk. He needed to make it up to him. They both were just waiting for Charles to return after winter break.