I've been thinking I'd love to fall victim to American unhealthy fattening junk food and become out of proportion obese, and within the US nobody would really notice because so many people are morbidly obese there and then I'd have to come back to Europe and face scrutiny for what I've done to myself, after just and getting used to the obesity rate there like, maybe I didn't notice it so much until I fly back and have to squeeze into a tiiiiny little airplane seat (they weren't always that small, right?), and as soon as I'm off the plane I realise how much I stand out, how MUCH fatter I've gotten than literally anyone else, how much more food I'm craving, how much more I need to feel satisfied, how reliant I've become on junk food... And still I am ashamed, back in Europe, everyone is so much slimmer than me and doesn't have a junk food addiction, so I try to take back control and go a day (just one day!) without eating fast food but by midday I've already broken it, and I'm desperate for my big, greasy breakfast even just by a few hours make my hunger pangs relentless, and I end up greedily stuffing yourself so full that I'm beached under my swollen, overfed lard-sack of a gut.. and I'm even more ashamed now, having failed at self control, feeling how low my fat gut hangs but even while I'm thinking about it and groaning under it's weight I'm still pushing another donut in my mouth, unable to stop, feeling my tits and double chin wobble, holding my fat gut with sausage fingers to ease the pressure while I force myself to eat more... Feeling the chair groaning under my immense weight and thinking "good."
2 weeks
