Extreme obesity

Ah yes, “pleasing” your partner while they eat is quite popular on here lol.

I like that your ex dwelt on the philosophy of fat & gaining: it can be such a huge, life-changing decision compared to indulging in other kinks where you turn them on or off. It does kind of need to be thought of differently and more seriously. How else are people going to become mentally comfortable with it? This community could probably use more people like her. I take it she avoids sites like this too, so how did she come to meet you and discover your own philosophy about fat?

Sorry the women are more closeted where you are now. I wonder if there is a higher than average number of female feeders in the police & military? If it’s a dominance thing it would make sense I guess. Do you meet ladies mainly on here these days, or do they have their own secret feedist communities too?

WideJuan76:
I can only give information that I deduced from our conversations; I wanted to just be there and take it all in. Asking the type of questions you're asking in that situation would have been too imposing but I can only give you what they gave to me openly.

I have noticed that in the southern United States that there is more of an attraction to fatter men and it comes in two forms. One, being malignant in which they will fatten up a guy with money then have trysts on the side. The other being that there are actually women who actually get off to genuinely fattening their men. I thought at first that they were just making it up but you can just tell from their micro expressions that they loved it. Some of these women met in college and they started their own little coven while others actually came from families who had a tradition of fattening their men especially those who have direct ties to certain parts of Africa. Some others started on Facebook and even older than that Myspace and they kept in touch. They really talked down own these fetish sites due to the lack of social intelligence that they said they encountered online from males on those sites so did it via world or mouth.

OxfordBoy:
This is a great answer, thank you. So were the group all black southern couples then? Given the South’s history I assumed traditional upper middle class had to mean white - shows what I know!

The West African family link is interesting - I was aware of cultural preferences for fat/fattening women in some African societies but not of a male equivalent. And you’ve heard of it existing in Ghana you say?

Love the idea of female college students forming a feeder coven lol. I suppose when you have just a bit more openness about women fattening men (for whatever reason) it makes such word-of-mouth meetings possible. As opposed to all the accounts of ‘I was convinced I was the only one in the entire world until I found this website’ you usually get.

So they are aware of these websites nowadays then, they just avoid them. Can’t say I blame them on the lack of social intelligence thing! I sometimes hear people claim kink sites skew male because kinky women stay away from them, but I always wondered if this was just wishful thinking. But it sounds like it’s perfectly possible for women to form their own communities and indulge their kink that way - they don’t need these sites. So maybe it’s true after all.[/quote]

I have dated women from Ghana who come from tribes where it is frowned upon to not keep your husband fat but the actual tribe escapes me.

It is actually more normal than we realize and that is why I haven't experienced the same type of issues as others because of my location. Women on the east coast here in the states in the south adore fat men.

I met her while I was studying for my Masters degree and she actually approached me and that was in my chubby stages. I have always been told that I have a very handsome face no matter my weight so she told me that she wanted a teddy bear and she wanted to get my number. I had always thought about gaining but she showed the existential aspect of it.

I meet people all over the place. Some online and others offline. But mostly women tend to make the approach me more in the southern states which is why I always travel there.

Glad to see the professors-coming-on-to-students thing hasn't been killed off just yet lol. She sounds like quite a woman. And she gained just as much as you during the relationship? Hope she didn't get any shit for that from the faculty.

We tend to put a big divide between a preference for a larger partner on the one hand, and being a feeder into gaining on the other. It seems to be very important to some people. Non-feedist fatty-lovers get called civilians lol.
When women approach you though, do you find this really applies? Or do most of them who like you big also like the idea of making you bigger? Just wondering if maybe these labels we have in the online community aren't as useful as we think?

She gained at a much slower pace than I did but she didn't give a damn what anyone had to say about it.

People don't realize that these labels are useless because the "fat gift" changes all the time for those of us who have this as part of what we like so I pay labels no mind.

Most women I meet offline could care less about these labels which is why most of this stuff online is just the same tribalism with its own lingo and if you don't know the colloquialism then you're not in the cool crowd but offline it is way more organic. That's why I don't use any of these terms because in real life we go back and forth between being fed and liking to feed.

OxfordBoy:
Ah yes, “pleasing” your partner while they eat is quite popular on here lol.

I like that your ex dwelt on the philosophy of fat & gaining: it can be such a huge, life-changing decision compared to indulging in other kinks where you turn them on or off. It does kind of need to be thought of differently and more seriously. How else are people going to become mentally comfortable with it? This community could probably use more people like her. I take it she avoids sites like this too, so how did she come to meet you and discover your own philosophy about fat?

Sorry the women are more closeted where you are now. I wonder if there is a higher than average number of female feeders in the police & military? If it’s a dominance thing it would make sense I guess. Do you meet ladies mainly on here these days, or do they have their own secret feedist communities too?

WideJuan76:
I met her while I was studying for my Masters degree and she actually approached me and that was in my chubby stages. I have always been told that I have a very handsome face no matter my weight so she told me that she wanted a teddy bear and she wanted to get my number. I had always thought about gaining but she showed the existential aspect of it.

I meet people all over the place. Some online and others offline. But mostly women tend to make the approach me more in the southern states which is why I always travel there.

OxfordBoy:
Glad to see the professors-coming-on-to-students thing hasn't been killed off just yet lol. She sounds like quite a woman. And she gained just as much as you during the relationship? Hope she didn't get any shit for that from the faculty.

We tend to put a big divide between a preference for a larger partner on the one hand, and being a feeder into gaining on the other. It seems to be very important to some people. Non-feedist fatty-lovers get called civilians lol.
When women approach you though, do you find this really applies? Or do most of them who like you big also like the idea of making you bigger? Just wondering if maybe these labels we have in the online community aren't as useful as we think?

WideJuan76:
She gained at a much slower pace than I did but she didn't give a damn what anyone had to say about it.

People don't realize that these labels are useless because the "fat gift" changes all the time for those of us who have this as part of what we like so I pay labels no mind.

Most women I meet offline could care less about these labels which is why most of this stuff online is just the same tribalism with its own lingo and if you don't know the colloquialism then you're not in the cool crowd but offline it is way more organic. That's why I don't use any of these terms because in real life we go back and forth between being fed and liking to feed.[/quote]

Ah I must have misread that she ended up as big/bigger than you somewhere by the time you guys broke up, and that you worried she wanted you even bigger than her? My apologies for mischaracterising your relationship!

‘The fat gift’ - that’s an interesting way of phrasing it. I can believe what you say, that out there in the ‘real world’, where these community labels are not known about, people with these desires interpret them differently. That without the labels as a framework, people can kind of move between roles that would be described on here as FA, feeder and feedee. Maybe shame still plays a role here - people perhaps find it easier to admit to themselves that they want a fat partner than to fatten a partner, or to fatten a partner than to be fattened themselves? You seem like you’ve arrived at a very chilled out place of self-acceptance now anyway - good for you.

I kind of feel that your take on the kink should be more prominently displayed somewhere on here? Maybe on your profile, or maybe as it’s own thread? It just seems so much more...human? More organic, like you say. Less tech-y. Makes the kink feel more like part of a continuum of human experience and culture, and not siloed off as it’s own thing. Something for the old as well as for the young & internet-savvy. Makes us seem, for lack of a better word, more normal? I think it would be good for more people on here to think about.

OxfordBoy:
Ah yes, “pleasing” your partner while they eat is quite popular on here lol.

I like that your ex dwelt on the philosophy of fat & gaining: it can be such a huge, life-changing decision compared to indulging in other kinks where you turn them on or off. It does kind of need to be thought of differently and more seriously. How else are people going to become mentally comfortable with it? This community could probably use more people like her. I take it she avoids sites like this too, so how did she come to meet you and discover your own philosophy about fat?

Sorry the women are more closeted where you are now. I wonder if there is a higher than average number of female feeders in the police & military? If it’s a dominance thing it would make sense I guess. Do you meet ladies mainly on here these days, or do they have their own secret feedist communities too?

WideJuan76:
I met her while I was studying for my Masters degree and she actually approached me and that was in my chubby stages. I have always been told that I have a very handsome face no matter my weight so she told me that she wanted a teddy bear and she wanted to get my number. I had always thought about gaining but she showed the existential aspect of it.

I meet people all over the place. Some online and others offline. But mostly women tend to make the approach me more in the southern states which is why I always travel there.

OxfordBoy:
Glad to see the professors-coming-on-to-students thing hasn't been killed off just yet lol. She sounds like quite a woman. And she gained just as much as you during the relationship? Hope she didn't get any shit for that from the faculty.

We tend to put a big divide between a preference for a larger partner on the one hand, and being a feeder into gaining on the other. It seems to be very important to some people. Non-feedist fatty-lovers get called civilians lol.
When women approach you though, do you find this really applies? Or do most of them who like you big also like the idea of making you bigger? Just wondering if maybe these labels we have in the online community aren't as useful as we think?

WideJuan76:
She gained at a much slower pace than I did but she didn't give a damn what anyone had to say about it.

People don't realize that these labels are useless because the "fat gift" changes all the time for those of us who have this as part of what we like so I pay labels no mind.

Most women I meet offline could care less about these labels which is why most of this stuff online is just the same tribalism with its own lingo and if you don't know the colloquialism then you're not in the cool crowd but offline it is way more organic. That's why I don't use any of these terms because in real life we go back and forth between being fed and liking to feed.

OxfordBoy:
Ah I must have misread that she ended up as big/bigger than you somewhere by the time you guys broke up, and that you worried she wanted you even bigger than her? My apologies for mischaracterising your relationship!

‘The fat gift’ - that’s an interesting way of phrasing it. I can believe what you say, that out there in the ‘real world’, where these community labels are not known about, people with these desires interpret them differently. That without the labels as a framework, people can kind of move between roles that would be described on here as FA, feeder and feedee. Maybe shame still plays a role here - people perhaps find it easier to admit to themselves that they want a fat partner than to fatten a partner, or to fatten a partner than to be fattened themselves? You seem like you’ve arrived at a very chilled out place of self-acceptance now anyway - good for you.

I kind of feel that your take on the kink should be more prominently displayed somewhere on here? Maybe on your profile, or maybe as it’s own thread? It just seems so much more...human? More organic, like you say. Less tech-y. Makes the kink feel more like part of a continuum of human experience and culture, and not siloed off as it’s own thing. Something for the old as well as for the young & internet-savvy. Makes us seem, for lack of a better word, more normal? I think it would be good for more people on here to think about.[/quote]

One has to understand the very nature of how we as humans operate and this site is no exception. We love to be tribal so we create these factions and then we create the verbage for these factions but in truth this love with fat and for fat constantly evolves and that is why when I hear people self identify with fat that they haven't really had much experience with fat because those of us who actually live this fat life offline just let it flow. With this person, I like being the guy who always has food for someone I like and for another person who I truly vibe with; I will be the one who grazes constantly. It is more organic.

Putting my fat philosophy on my page feels to gaudy for my taste but I might try it anyway. I prefer to just let things be as they are because that's how far along the fat spectrum that I am. Once you have accepted that liking fat is just a part of who you are, you realize that the labels are more of a narcissistic thing than a true acceptance of fat because it no longer is a "kink"; it's who you are and some people enjoy escapism via other substances but it isn't escapism for you because to not be fat or not feel fat is completely out of the question. That's why I don't bother with labels because to those who have embraced the fat; the fat and fatness we feel is the only thing but we also have to make a life outside of this but we make that life as fat friendly as possible.

I'd dreamed of being in the over 1 ton range or even bigger, call it crazy but I want to be so big and always hungry for more

Honestly at this point if I can get swept off my feet by a FFA about my age who can help me with finances and is okay with my transitioning I'd gain to immobility or near it if she wanted it.