forum  extreme obesity

do feeders ever feel guilty??5 years

I have this ultimate fantasy of fattening a guy up, and ssbhm's are my idea of totally sexy, the idea of him growing out of all his clothing and struggling to get out of bed excites me! Then I have these horrible moments where I think that maybe actually doing that to someone could put their health and happiness at risk, even if they're into it. It makes me feel so guilty, has anyone else experienced this? smiley

do feeders ever feel guilty??5 years

YEP I have it and I deal with it in my own way.

Different people will have different ways of dealing with that type of guilt, for me I establish certain rules.

For example, if my partner is someone who is not a feedee I will not express my fetish with them.

I might tell them that I have this fetish but I would never want them to take part in it. When someone decides that they're going to take part in it to please me (even if I don't want them to) I feel guilty.

Potentially putting their health at risk so I can be turned on makes me feel like a selfish disgusting pervert.

On the other hand, if they ARE into it then there is another rule. My partner must be able to take care of themselves and be financially independent, this means there is a limit to how much weight someone can gain. If they aren't independent then the relationship isn't really much of a choice, is it? I view it as potentially leading to a toxic relationship.

People should only really be involved in feederism/feedism for themselves, they shouldn't do it for other people.

And even then, there needs to be ground rules.

do feeders ever feel guilty??5 years

My experience so far is that feeders show very little remorse or even respect for a feedee's boundaries. The word "aggressive" comes to mind. Mind you: this is my *personal* experience and so far it has been *online only*. I think I may have been unfortunate enough to attract the attention of hardcore fetishists, lol.

I think it's part of the feedee/feeder dynamic to work out an arrangement that suits both individuals and I think it's the responsibility of the feedee to be very, very clear about what he/she finds acceptable and is comfortable with. Basically what I'm getting at is "consent". It doesn't eradicate or avoid all feelings of guilt, but at least it opens up the possibility of open communication.

do feeders ever feel guilty??5 years

When or if I ever get into an actual feeding relationship with someone I would never want my feeder to feel guilty over liking my weight and wanting me to get fatter. Because those are a couple of things that I like too.

Of course preserving health as much as possible is an issue. But there are ways to make sure that you don't get too unhealthy.

Anyway, back on track, if in my hypothetical feeding relationship my feeder girlfriend was feeling guilty over feeding and fattening me I'd want her to talk to me about it. So we could work through that.

do feeders ever feel guilty??5 years

Although I have not yet been in an active feeder/feedee relationship I know that in the short term I get over eager, but in the long term I am over protective.

Should my wife ever give consent to gain, I would probably get super excited, just to follow with worrying if she was sure about it.

So in theory, I'd be riddled guilt... but until I experience it I wouldn't know. I might be a fat-crazed sociopath who would force feed a woman to immobility for my sick pleasure. :/

do feeders ever feel guilty??4 years

Admirefromafar wrote:
I have this ultimate fantasy of fattening a guy up, and ssbhm's are my idea of totally sexy, the idea of him growing out of all his clothing and struggling to get out of bed excites me! Then I have these horrible moments where I think that maybe actually doing that to someone could put their health and happiness at risk, even if they're into it. It makes me feel so guilty, has anyone else experienced this? smiley
I Feel the same way more often than not. Just to put a twist on this; What about a person that likes to feel bad. So they force fatten someone? Lol

do feeders ever feel guilty??4 years

Admirefromafar wrote:
I have this ultimate fantasy of fattening a guy up, and ssbhm's are my idea of totally sexy, the idea of him growing out of all his clothing and struggling to get out of bed excites me! Then I have these horrible moments where I think that maybe actually doing that to someone could put their health and happiness at risk, even if they're into it. It makes me feel so guilty, has anyone else experienced this? smiley


We are given but one life to live, and we should live it in joy and fullness! If both partners consent, then this kind of fattening is not something evil or something you should be ashamed of.

Rather, you are fulfilling the pleasures of you both. At the most, you could be knocking a few months or years off his life, but ask him: Would you rather live your life in joy and a bit shorter, or live a longer life and never know the joy of this kind of fattening?

Life is risky anyway. We all take risks for the pleasure -- rockclimbing, biking, hiking, swimming! Why can't overeating and gaining weight be as pleasurable -- even if it is risky?!

do feeders ever feel guilty??4 years

I am amazed that this is not more commonly discussed on FF. Aside, of course, from those "Is it ok to secretly make my gf 1000lbs without her consent?". (Yes, yes, of course that's fine.)

This is something that I think about a lot and majorly struggled with once. I've apparently been a member here now for six years, but have really only been active for the last three. I was reluctant to seek the feedee:feeder relationship, mainly due to this conflict of encouraging someone you like/love to do something that could impact on their health/lifestyle. However, this fetish is a part of me and something that's not going to go away, so I've made two basic decisions. 1)I'm not going to think about it much unless I'm actually in a relationship where it's relevant (going well, obviously). 2)I Would make absolutely clear that the feedee in a relationship is doing what he's comfortable with.

You can let your mind overplay all this stuff, but in the end of the day there are a lot of people in this world who are going to get fat. There are a few who want to get fat. If you find either of these (or perhaps someone into role play) and they do what they're comfortbale with, well eff it, you may as well be there to enjoy it too.

This is why I personally find the "online" feeder thing a bit difficult. Deciding to be fat in our society is not easy and yeah, I'd like to be able to support that person in real life if people give them shite about it. "Well, I love you, every single pound" is probably nice to hear in such circumstances.

So short answer, yep, I do!

do feeders ever feel guilty??4 years

I don't have the opportunity to put my feeding fantasies into practice since I have this thing where I keep finding guys who want a female feeder after I've already found and settled for a guy who doesn't like it. But then again I am a neurotic head case with insecurity issues so...

do feeders ever feel guilty??4 years

I dont think a feeder should ever feel guilty. If you have talked about the situation, and both parties are understanding of the risk, you should be O.K.

I know this flies in the face of human tendencies.
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