General

Feeders: if you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to gain what do you do?

Role play is the next closest option, but if she's still feeling bad about her weight and doesn't like you enjoying any belly/etc that she has at all then there's nothing you can really do.
7 years

Feeders: if you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to gain what do you do?

The only way to avoid this from becoming a source of conflict, either for you internally or between you and your girlfriend, is to be open and honest, detailed and precise.

It's entirely understandable that she's opposed to gaining weight. She might remain so, as is her right. But she also might be more open to the idea once she fully understands your sexuality. In my experience, the fear of revealing yourself to someone in this way is unwarranted. If she's a decent person who cares for you, she'll at least be understanding and sensitive, at best open to working it into your lives in a way that she can accommodate. If, on the other hand, she's unsupportive or refuses to accept it, I'm afraid you will have to reconsider if she's the right person to be in a relationship with.

Being anything other than honest is going to tie you up in knots and risks creating tensions in your relationship that she hasn't the knowledge to understand.

I know it's difficult - I've been through it myself. In relationships we all make compromises and sacrifices - it's an essential part of looking after each other. Getting fat was a sacrifice my wife was prepared to make for me and I'm very grateful to her for it.
7 years

Feeders: if you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to gain what do you do?

Finally Fat:
And screw the touchy-feely hokum.


That is among the most confusing sentences I have ever read. It's almost a hilarious double entendre, but it doesn't quite get there because the innuendo is eclipsed by the gutless, apathetic intent.
7 years

Feeders: if you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to gain what do you do?

Finally Fat:

Oh.


Apologies. I'm not myself in the mornings.
7 years

Feeders: if you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to gain what do you do?

ReanimatorBob:
I'm in a committed relationship that's been going on for two years now. I love this person from the bottom of my heart, and will be with her forever. She's a little bigger, but I dont mind in the slightest.

But one day, I mentioned the fact I like bigger girls, and brought up the idea of gaining. She's against it. She actually wants to lose weight. However, this is now a bit of a sore subject for us, and it's frustrating not to want the same thing for sure, and even more so that I can't enjoy the belly she has right now without her feeling bad about her weight.

She means the world to me, more than anything, so I can't and won't make her do anything she doesn't want, even though I want it really bad. I was wondering what you guys would do in this situation


Chances are she's evaluating the relationship at this point to. Now that you've revealed your preference there's 2 scenarios at play here. At worst she now thinks you're a freak of some kind. At best she's now thinking you will no longer find her attractive if she loses weight. Neither option bodes well for the relationship. If you want it "really bad" your own frustration will just get worse over time. Maybe you can both pretend the subject never came up and go about your lives. At the end of the day it doesn't matter what we would do. None of us can pretend to understand the dynamics of your relationship.
7 years

Feeders: if you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to gain what do you do?

Have an open and honest discussion. Tell her about how you feel. Let her know you're on board if she wants to lose weight. You love her now, you'll love her then. You love her body now and you'll love it then. And if it makes her happy to be there, you will be happy for her. Reach an understanding. Listen to what she has to say. It's just like working through any other touchy subject in a relationship. Let her know you value the relationship and HER above all else. And you're here for her, to listen to what she has to say.
Let us know how it goes, friend. Best of luck.
7 years

Feeders: if you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to gain what do you do?

I believe that we often overvalue our sexuality. My wife is attractive to me because I love her, not the other way around. She feels the same way about me, which in context of the question, means she could care less of how stuffed I am or how fat I get. I would like to have my fat and her fat be more directly enjoyed in the bedroom, but if it never happens we still have good times.
5 years

Feeders: if you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to gain what do you do?

I'm not really sure what to tell you, I've read some of the comments here and I pretty much agree with just having a discussion with her, open and honest and see where it goes from there, if you are willing to stay with her and ignore your desires and just let her be because she is not willing to partake or compromise then I would suggest just fullfilling yourself, by yourself, or you could try and open relationship if that's what you really wanna do, I don't know how she'd take that suggestion though, or you may just have to start questioning your relationship and seeing if she's really the right girl for you. Now some people may be able to work something out and stay together but sometimes it just doesn't work that way, if she's truly unwilling and doesn't wanna do it and from what I'm assuming she's not really confident in her own skin, and this is whole thing is becoming a growing problem then I for one don't know what the outcome might be, you want your partner to be comfortable and everything, but you also want to have some kind of fulfillment, I'm not sure what else to tell you, this is the best advice I've got.
5 years