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i want to get huge but would destroy my marriage10 months

I need to double my weight. I'm 255 now and want to be over 500 pounds. If I keep gaining, though, my wife will not understand and she'll be so disappointed. I love her, but I'm so driven by my desire to get fatter and fatter. It's the strongest feeling ever, like it's at the core of my sexuality. I am so turned on by my fat I quiver and tremble at the thought of growing huge. I need this, but the thought of losing my partner is slowing me down. I'm so frustrated, I don't know what to do. I want to be sucking down milk shakes and jars of peanut butter all day, but I can't do that and maintain my life and my marriage. So torn. Any ideas?

i want to get huge but would destroy my marriage10 months

She would not understand. It would consume her with sadness.

i want to get huge but would destroy my marriage10 months

I'd say talk to her, have a sit down with her and tell her exactly how you feel, have a discussion about it. Even tell her that you'll start with only 15-20 pounds and you'll go to the doctor regularly if that's what she would like just so she knows your safe

i want to get huge but would destroy my marriage10 months

explain to her if you don't do it you will never be happy.