Gaining

Help me decide on gaining weight?

Okay, so a little about me first. I am 19 years old and a college freshman. I have always been interested in fat stuff/feederism, and I currently weigh a touch over 280. When I started high school, I was 185lbs and an athlete, and most of that weight was not gained on purpose.

So, my predicament is my current weight. I hate being in the middle of "is he fat or is he just a bit overweight". I would love to get fatter to the point of extreme obesity because I love the idea of the fat and the struggles; on the flip side I want to be a normal weight because I am afraid I will never get to date or have a job once I'm so fat. Sooo basically, what do I do? Has anyone here had any similar situations?
5 years