General

Romance and sexuality

Hello everyone im new here and fall onto the feeder side. So recently ive had a massive amount of anxiety thinking about how I feel like I will never have a proper relationship. You see, I feel like I want to have a romantic relationship with a thin person but, I am not sexually attracted to them so, I end up feeling unfulfilled. But, at the same time if I find someone who is larger and is very sexually attractive to me, I feel like I do not want a romantic relationship with them.

It is as if my two sides of my sexuality do not align. I tend to over think things a lot and do you think this could be one of those cases? I just fear that I will never able to have a long-term relationship with anyone because my love life are at odds. Like a fat person is very sexually appealing to me but, I just don't most of the time feel the desire to be in a romantic loving relationship with them.

Is this a case of I just have to find someone who aligns with both sides of my preferences or what. If anybody can relate to this or has any hopeful advice it would be greatly appreciated.
4 years

Romance and sexuality

I do understand what you mean.
There is a difference between sexual attraction, and love, and your post (OP) clearly makes that point.
Some of the women I am sexually attracted to, have horrible personalities (that is clear from their posts : not necessarily on this website). Yes I find them very sexy but no way would I want to actually spend a meaningful amount of time with them.
On the other hand, some women friends I have, are fantastic, and I do love them as friends, but I am not sexually attracted to them in any way.
So, it is difficult to find a partner who meets all your 'requirements' and obviously you have to meet all of theirs too.
I consider myself very lucky, to have a wife who I really fancy sexually, and also we are like best friends too and even after almost 30 years, love each other's company.
4 years

Romance and sexuality

becomingoverweight:
What if you found a thin partner, fell in love with them, and then they get fat? Would you lose or maintain that romantic bond?


I have never been in a relationship of any kid actually but, I imagine i wouldn't i guess.
4 years

Romance and sexuality

fatsmagic:
I do understand what you mean.
There is a difference between sexual attraction, and love, and your post (OP) clearly makes that point.
Some of the women I am sexually attracted to, have horrible personalities (that is clear from their posts : not necessarily on this website). Yes I find them very sexy but no way would I want to actually spend a meaningful amount of time with them.
On the other hand, some women friends I have, are fantastic, and I do love them as friends, but I am not sexually attracted to them in any way.
So, it is difficult to find a partner who meets all your 'requirements' and obviously you have to meet all of theirs too.
I consider myself very lucky, to have a wife who I really fancy sexually, and also we are like best friends too and even after almost 30 years, love each other's company.


So I have a question, Do you think I am overthinking this, I just need to wait for someone who strikes a good balance with me.I also fear that if they are chubby then All I would care about is their body and not them but, is that just me overthinking it too because I never actually never have been in a relationship.
4 years

Romance and sexuality

Find someone fat. It’s easier to find out who they are if they’re attractive. It’s very possible you just need to meet the right person
4 years

Romance and sexuality

fatsmagic:
I do understand what you mean.
There is a difference between sexual attraction, and love, and your post (OP) clearly makes that point.
Some of the women I am sexually attracted to, have horrible personalities (that is clear from their posts : not necessarily on this website). Yes I find them very sexy but no way would I want to actually spend a meaningful amount of time with them.
On the other hand, some women friends I have, are fantastic, and I do love them as friends, but I am not sexually attracted to them in any way.
So, it is difficult to find a partner who meets all your 'requirements' and obviously you have to meet all of theirs too.
I consider myself very lucky, to have a wife who I really fancy sexually, and also we are like best friends too and even after almost 30 years, love each other's company.

Zelda64:
So I have a question, Do you think I am overthinking this, I just need to wait for someone who strikes a good balance with me.I also fear that if they are chubby then All I would care about is their body and not them but, is that just me overthinking it too because I never actually never have been in a relationship.


Yes, my opinion is you are over thinking it.
It is difficult because you obviously feel pressured by the fact you have not had a physical relationship yet, but you cannot force these things.
Small steps, and simply dating (or having the confidence to ask people for a date), is the key. You might go on 20 dates before you feel a special connection with somebody, but so long as you keep your respect (for yourself), and just enjoy dating, then the pressure will fade and you might find one of those dates is your ideal partner.
Relationships require a bit of work by both sides, nobody just falls straight into the perfect partnership, it takes compromise by both sides, and often quite a bit of hard work.
4 years

Romance and sexuality

Personally I think someone’s personality can often be thing that makes me actually attracted to them. Real life is so much more different than just looking at pictures of bodies and picking one that looks sexy.

My advice would be to stop over thinking things and make an effort to meet new people and try and find someone you feel a real connection to.
4 years

Romance and sexuality

Since you haven't had a real relationship yet, that probably makes you more worried for when you actually get into one. I guess you won't really know until you date someone, either skinny or fat, and see where your heart takes you. The more you date and enter new experiences, the more you will learn about yourself and what you really want. It's okay to feel anxious about it, it's okay to overthink. It's okay to be worried because your mind is trying to solve this complicated problem you are currently facing. When you meet someone that you want to date, then maybe its a sign that you should date them, and I bet that things will fall into place from there smiley
4 years