Confessions pt. 2
1. I'm pretty sure I don't grok people. I can intellectually understand that "Person X is likely to do Y", and "People tend to do A, B, and F", but on an emotional level I "don't get it" most of the time. I'm very phlegmatic, relatively well-adjusted in most ways except socialization, and I don't understand why so many people - and I'm not even talking about here - let their emotions rule, and often destroy, them.
2. I've figured out that I am completely unbiased about fat - some people look their best at 80, some at 120, some at 150 or 180, some at 270. Same with intentional weight gain or stuffing. I can, and have been, attracted to girls who are skinny, have very short (crew-cut, practically) hair, are fit, etc - and I've been attracted to women who are 250 and wanting to gain several hundred more. For myself, I'm 250-260, and the only opinion I have about my being overweight is that if I want to start playing more laser tag, I need to improve my stamina, flexibility, and back muscles, which will probably lead to or require weight loss.
3. The woman I've found most attractive in body and personality, I'll probably never meet face to face but we occasionally chat online.
4. I've just about given up on meeting someone local who shares my interests and reciprocates my kinks well enough to understand me (I cannot sub; I do not care one way or the other about being a dom; if you're going to stuff or gain for me, do it for yourself too, or it won't turn me on).
5. Any woman who's shown interest in me that I have a chance of getting together with, has suddenly dumped me (usually playing the "I'm going to ignore you and pretend I never heard of you until the next time I need something" game). Fair enough, maybe there's something wrong with me or at least with my presentation of myself, but could at least one of them TELL me what that is, so maybe I stand a chance of fixing it?
6. Nor can I particularly seem to -care- about finding someone to spend my life with. Everyone seems to think it's a burning need. I don't. See confession #1.
7. I miss the 80s.
8. Similarly to 6 - despite having strong turn-ons and such, I have no interest in sex as a goal, only as a means to make a partner happier - whether that be orgasm, pregnancy, etc.
9. I have no idea what it means when a woman says, "I want a guy with ambition". To me, that means she thinks I should always be looking for the next promotion/raise/etc. All I care about, all I see any value in caring about, is: doing my job, doing it well, and that the employer is as loyal to me as I am to them - I'm a Hufflepuff, not a Slytherin. I've got a good job, why do I need to be playing politics to get a "better" one that I won't enjoy?
10. I'm fairly certain I'm some variety of Aspie. I've read the traits associated, and while I've learned, sometimes the hard way, how to deal with the associated problems, it still fits me very well, I think. Like others I've read about, I don't see it as a problem... except that I sometimes wish I could flip a switch for five minutes and understand why other people react to certain things the way they do.
11. I feel for some of the other people in this thread... not being someone who indulges in self-loathing for more than a few afternoons each year, I don't understand at all, but I feel sorry for those who hate themselves or their bodies.
12. I hate bugs. Spiders, roaches, flies, grasshoppers, any insect and most arachnids. Small crabs are kinda cool but that's it, anything else gets smashed. They terrify me. When I saw that there was a flying insect in my bedroom once, I could not sleep in that room that night. I had to sleep on the couch. I don't mind reading about spiders, but that's because they're usually anthropomorphized.
13. I love dogs and cats, but mostly dogs.
14. I love Transformers, Lego's, models, 3-D puzzles, and computers. They make sense to me, and all but the last appeal to my spacial reasoning skills.
15. I will always have a messy desk. At work, at home, the desktop on my computer, etc. Always. I don't understand why some people can't stand to have messy desks.
2. I've figured out that I am completely unbiased about fat - some people look their best at 80, some at 120, some at 150 or 180, some at 270. Same with intentional weight gain or stuffing. I can, and have been, attracted to girls who are skinny, have very short (crew-cut, practically) hair, are fit, etc - and I've been attracted to women who are 250 and wanting to gain several hundred more. For myself, I'm 250-260, and the only opinion I have about my being overweight is that if I want to start playing more laser tag, I need to improve my stamina, flexibility, and back muscles, which will probably lead to or require weight loss.
3. The woman I've found most attractive in body and personality, I'll probably never meet face to face but we occasionally chat online.
4. I've just about given up on meeting someone local who shares my interests and reciprocates my kinks well enough to understand me (I cannot sub; I do not care one way or the other about being a dom; if you're going to stuff or gain for me, do it for yourself too, or it won't turn me on).
5. Any woman who's shown interest in me that I have a chance of getting together with, has suddenly dumped me (usually playing the "I'm going to ignore you and pretend I never heard of you until the next time I need something" game). Fair enough, maybe there's something wrong with me or at least with my presentation of myself, but could at least one of them TELL me what that is, so maybe I stand a chance of fixing it?
6. Nor can I particularly seem to -care- about finding someone to spend my life with. Everyone seems to think it's a burning need. I don't. See confession #1.
7. I miss the 80s.
8. Similarly to 6 - despite having strong turn-ons and such, I have no interest in sex as a goal, only as a means to make a partner happier - whether that be orgasm, pregnancy, etc.
9. I have no idea what it means when a woman says, "I want a guy with ambition". To me, that means she thinks I should always be looking for the next promotion/raise/etc. All I care about, all I see any value in caring about, is: doing my job, doing it well, and that the employer is as loyal to me as I am to them - I'm a Hufflepuff, not a Slytherin. I've got a good job, why do I need to be playing politics to get a "better" one that I won't enjoy?
10. I'm fairly certain I'm some variety of Aspie. I've read the traits associated, and while I've learned, sometimes the hard way, how to deal with the associated problems, it still fits me very well, I think. Like others I've read about, I don't see it as a problem... except that I sometimes wish I could flip a switch for five minutes and understand why other people react to certain things the way they do.
11. I feel for some of the other people in this thread... not being someone who indulges in self-loathing for more than a few afternoons each year, I don't understand at all, but I feel sorry for those who hate themselves or their bodies.
12. I hate bugs. Spiders, roaches, flies, grasshoppers, any insect and most arachnids. Small crabs are kinda cool but that's it, anything else gets smashed. They terrify me. When I saw that there was a flying insect in my bedroom once, I could not sleep in that room that night. I had to sleep on the couch. I don't mind reading about spiders, but that's because they're usually anthropomorphized.
13. I love dogs and cats, but mostly dogs.
14. I love Transformers, Lego's, models, 3-D puzzles, and computers. They make sense to me, and all but the last appeal to my spacial reasoning skills.
15. I will always have a messy desk. At work, at home, the desktop on my computer, etc. Always. I don't understand why some people can't stand to have messy desks.
13 years
