Extreme obesity

There's loads of good advice here. I hope you take it. I would really, really urge you to:

1. Relax.

2. Do feel responsible for her orgasm, and don't expect it to come from penetration.

3. Read the things Reese's suggests.

4. Talk to her. Ask her if what you're doing feels good. Ask her what she would like you to do. Ask her if she feels comfortable. Ask her if she's enjoying it. Etc.

Given that you thought to post, I think you've got all the right instincts. I'm sure you're going to be fine, so the most important is to relax and have fun!

You have been talking with irresponsible medical practitioners and counselors. Or you aren't listening well.

It's probably true that there's nothing wrong with you gynecologically, but it would take more attention than a pap smear to be sure. Maybe, for instance, something is throwing your hormones off. Are your cycles regular? faint?

If it's true that it is related to being bipolar, do they mean it's the drugs or the condition? I've never heard of a psychiatric condition that makes orgasm impossible.

If it's from the meds, they should be willing to work with you to help you figure out a better way. Possibilities could include: changing meds, taking something else, learning techniques, etc. If it's due to the meds, they should have some way to address it.

And if it's medical, that doesn't at all mean it would be hopeless. There are many treatable conditions that create problems.

I say this because I have struggled for many years to get my depression meds right so that I can stay on them and still have orgasms. It is DEFINITELY worth the time and effort. Don't give up, and don't let the docs give up, either. It is a reasonable expectation, even a right, to expect to have this part of your life be taken seriously.

Hang in there, and good luck!

I lol-ed so hard I cried.

Some folks have given great advice and some not so great

I say the most important thing is that their is communication. Whether you are fat, skinny or otherwise - people sometimes forget that key ingredient. Also, note that penetration is not the only part of sex and if you aren't able to work it out the first time around, remember your hands/mouth/brain are very key to sexy/fun/awesome sex.

I've gained significantly since my first sexual encounter at 18 when I was about 250lbs to now where I am over 550lbs. There is definitely more to navigate now, but for me (and hopefully for the partner I am with) that's the fun part and a bonus.

But just to get it out there: I can still have vaginal sex and I don't foresee it being a problem in even a 100+ lbs more. I'd like to add, that this includes different size "packages". My two partners over the last 4+ years are both very different in size, one is very large and one is just under average. It works just fine with both and it doesn't determine the pleasure/orgasm for me.

So anyhoo, if you are worried - that's fairly natural. Just try to be yourself, openly communicate and be sure to ask her what feels good and so on. It might take time to lead to comfort and pleasure, but the journey sure is fun.

P.S. To the poster who stated that if it feels good for you, that it'll feel good for her.. this is wrong. We might get off on the fact that you are enjoying yourself, but we might not lead to us having our "happy time", so be sure she has hers too.

This is VERY wrong based on the women I know... and I know many women. Not that you are agreeing at all, just posting just on case a new to the sex scene guys reads this and learns fail info

what/how it is wrong?

ok apparantly a lot of people missed this but irregular cycles like that are a big gynecological red flag that you might have a serious reproductive issue that combined with psychiatric meds is causing you not to have a sex drive, seriously try to get your obgyn and your psychiatrist to talk about your problem together together