Adipose wrotePorking Up wrote: What's interesting is that while I am only turned on by chubby girls, I would be able to get off dating a skinny girl if she loved me fat.
This.
I can't help thinking "Why do you have to have this stupid fetish? Why can't you just get off from normal sex like most others?" It's not even that I think this is a sick or perverted fetish, but rather an inconvenient one.
And this.
These struck a chord with me. Concerning the second quote, this can most certainly be an inconvenient fetish. As a girl, the idea of telling any normal guy that I might at some point in the future decide I want to gain weight will most likely not go over well. It's true that you can roleplay to an extent, occasional feedings or dirty talk. My last boyfriend went along with that for me, since I always performed about 100 times better in bed when he did. But in the long run, he didn't gain much weight over the course of the relationship (which I could live with) and I felt extremely self-conscious about every pound I put on, because he'd made it quite clear he wasn't attracted to larger girls.
When probing the question once, I asked him if, on our first date, would he have still pursued a relationship if I'd shown up and been 220 pounds instead of 120. He said he would have been cordial and friendly, but that he would not have been attracted to me and most likely would not have pursued the relationship further. It broke my heart to hear that.
Which leads me into the first quote: When I first joined Fantasy Feeder, I had no interest in gaining. For me, weight is tied in some way to sexual powerplay. I fantasized about being the svelte, caring partner, providing for and teasing my large, lazy man. The idea of being big myself scared me, because I felt if I gained weight I'd be considered unattractive and my boyfriend would leave me.
I started to realize I was repressing a part of myself. One day, my boyfriend was playing the game "Fat Princess", and (in the company of our friends, no less) pulled me to his chest, snuggled me, and said in a baby voice "Are you my little fat princess? Yes you are!" Rather than being offended, I found myself incredibly turned on, and had a huge smile on my face for quite a while afterwards that I simply couldn't wipe off.
I couldn't tell him... I was afraid it would gross him out. FInally, near the end of our relationship, I asked him to call me his little fat princess again. He'd been roleplaying being fat for me, but until that point he had no idea that I fantasized about myself being fat. Surprisingly, he went along with it without a second thought, and it was one of the most satisfying experiences I've had thus far.
To me, being fat would put me in the most vulnerable of positions. Since not many guys like chunky girls, I could only feel comfortable gaining with a partner I was sure would not leave me over it. I loved the feeling of being lightly teased and humiliated, and yet still loved. As much as I like big guys, I think I could settle for a moderately chubby guy if he was the right one for me, AND could love me no matter my size. I want fat to be a part of my relationships in some way, either on me or on him, (otherwise I'll be spending a lot of lonely nights with my hand lol) but I feel like I've repressed my desire to be fatter and simply passed it off to be on my partner instead, because I'm afraid to gain myself.
To gain weight would be the ultimate relinquishing of power, it would be making myself 'unattractive' to society's standards, and I would be completely reliant on my man to love me in spite of it. I think I'm a bit of a sexual submissive. That's not to say I don't find fat attractive in it's own right, I do, but I'm also hyperaware of how it is viewed by others.
Zomg, now I have two people in this thread vocalising my inner thoughts and struggles! :O
and not so much to me or if I'm just this weird anomaly of a guy who can find someone totally gorgeous yet never think about masturbating to them.
