General

How is anyone going to be able to follow that?

What's the difference between a sax player and a lawnmower?


One cuts grass, the other smokes it

Why is a drum machine better than a drummer?



With a drum machine, you only need to punch the information in once.

My new girlfriend just found out that I'm 42.

She said, "You told me that you were 28 and a half!"

I said, "I am if you think about it."

How do you know when youve heard the lamest jokes ever
Youve been on ff hahahaa

I spent all night banging on the kitchen table, and I'm exhausted.

Never again will I leave my Terry's Chocolate Orange in the freezer.

So in holland we have jokes about belgium people. here's my favorit

In the supermarket when you want to buy a milk carton, it has a little sign that tells you where to open it. In Holland it says 'Open here' and in Belgium it says 'Open at home'

So these are the latest inventions from belgium:

A helicopter with an ejection seat and an underground airport.

Belgium jokes never get old

Q. what do you do when a belgium person throws a grenade at you?

A. You pull out the pin and throw it back.

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?


A flat minor.