Gaining

let me just be clear. With my gf that got really fat there was no "secret feeding." She got fat because even though she wouldn't admit it, she actually enjoyed it.

there was no sinister plan of mine to get her fat against her will. Please people...this stuff does not happen in the real world. For one, I would mention to her all the time that she was getting fat and to lay off the sweets.

lastly...i think it's hilarious that one of the people in this thread that is calling me out actually started a topic called "the benefits of immobility." Seriously? And I'm the creep here?

Also..another person that condemned me has on her profile that she is not into feeder/feedee stuff at all. OK then..why the hell are you reading the weight gain forum?

i'd also like to add that just because you may consider more subtle fattening to be against some non-existent code of conduct doesn't make it so.

Well I'm not one to use this site much let alone post on the forum.... but I am one for loving being the minority in any circumstance..

I have to side with Hunter here and totally get what he means.

Some girls just are the fat type; man involved or not. Do we need to point out that there are PLENTY of women who easily/effortlessly/happily/whatever put on plenty (hundreds of pounds even) of weight all on their own? Then whine about hating it....

I consider this simply more of the discrepancy between society, reality, and the condition of the
modern human animal....

Hunter9's experience sounds like the classic western idealism I've seen all too many times. Girl gets particular self image imposed by media and society.... Society does not support such self image in practice with the reality it presents. Plenty of women say they want to be fit, look like whatever idol,and even go to the gym, yadda yadda. But when it comes down to it.... They don't want to take the time, and take on what is an ongoing maintaining lifestyle. And they'd much rather be lazy and pig out on all the ever so available tasty food in modern societies.

I'm willing to bet a pretty penny that the girl Hunter was with would have got plenty fat all on her own at some point anyway. Leaving food around or openly serving it is not manipulative when someone readily eats it up.

Plus we need to remember that she probably did enjoy it as he suggests. But when society says that anything fat is evil - as I have experienced - girls will go to any length to conform for comfort and say they hate it all just for for show. Take away the bias and I bet you'd see a lot more openness for the girls who love to eat and who would otherwise have no other reason to hesitate getting fat.

There are plenty of girls out there who would love to eat as they please and inevitably be fat if it weren't for the massive pressure of pop culture telling them they should feel bad in the first place. These are the girls Hunter is talking about who seem to just 'pile on the pounds with ease'

I'm not trying to be sexist either. I'm a straight guy who likes fat (not morbidly obese) girls..so that's been my experience. I'm sure the same goes for women liking men, and gays, trans, whatever, too....

Very well said Tea 4 ,,
Superbly written post, very true that women get a lot of enjoyment from being free from the constraints of diet and conformity, as my fiance put it when some girls start getting a little fat they often think sod it and just enjoy the ride. My girl moans some times about her size but soon forgets about that when she is craving a lt of soda & chinese takeaway. Me, well what am I to do about her, just enjoy the whole show (and nip to the shop for some more food & soda)

Hmm, been ages since I've seen this topic... well, from your perspective, would you say he was doing a good thing to those women then, or a bad thing? Would you say he was being predatory or not? Would you call it 'subtle feeding/manipulative feeding/etc' or something else entirely?

I. agree with a lot of folks. Dude, that is all kinds of wrong!

So, not to put too fine a point on it, but the way this is heading, logically, when the wife was out of work a couple years ago, and I made sure there was food to eat, lights on, etc, then I was engaging in 'secret feeding?'

I'm sorry, but making sure there is food in the cupboard, and sometimes going out barely qualifies as 'feeding' let alone 'secret.'

By the definition in this thread, then every bread-winner in a single-income family is guilty of 'secret feeding.'

Granted, the OP is somewhat taking credit for something hat is *not* an accomplishment of his own, but more a matter of circumstance.

It's kind of braqgging about something dude had very little to do with in reality-- Kind of like those guys who show you a picture of their girlfriend/wife/sigO's butt, all proud-like, like they had anything to do with it's creation/maintenance...

I think there is a huge difference between don't like to gain and don't mind to gain... And to be honest those who don't mind to gain can be very sorry after a relationship has ended... I love the gain of a woman, but be very sure in the love of her for you and her liking to gain... only in that case it can improve your relationship.

OP's GF was a grown woman...
No one forced her to stop exercising.
No one forced her to eat all the fatty food OP would buy.
No one forced her to eat out with OP, and if she did go out she could've ordered something less fattening.


She made these decisions. She could've easily told OP that she wanted to eat healthier/go on a diet. But no she continued to eat poorly and pile on the pounds.

I don't fault the OP at all.

+1

You basically said what I was thinking when reading the OP.

I have been the "victim" of a secret feeder and it was an abusive and controlling relationship, which generally destroyed my self confidence. Being open and upfront about it allows that person to make the choice of acceptance or rejection, ok it may spoil some of the fantasy, but you must offer someone the respect and chance to make their own choices.

I mean feederism is one thing if both parties are aware of the others preferences and desires, otherwise there is a fine line separating this sort of activity from psychological abuse.

/end poorly worded (and thought through) mini rant.

Ok I dont like how the OP said that she was a real cow. But after reading the OP, I dont think thats secertly feeding. I've seen TONS of people after get married letting themselfs go or least finding someone.

I wouldn't say he was secertly feeding but i dont know the OP, but what he said is true. Lot of people try be skinny because society says they have to be to get a bf or gf and / or get married. But once you find someone most people let themselves go. Its not their partners fault, its the eaters fault. How do you know if the OP goes and buy all the food in the house? did you see him!? no? ok maybe she does it to herself.

So please stop making this into a fricking witch hunt, and just relate experences of your partners letting themselves go.