Lifestyle tips

wait - do thin people take more than one sitting to eat a single chocolate bar?

Yeah, you wouldn't get away with rubbish like that in other contexts...shot glasses becoming 'fun-sized pints' would cause rioting...

Your jeans can be simultaneously too tight and too loose, depending on whether you put them over or under your belly.

The staff in the greasy spoon opposite my house gave my boyfriend a discount "because your girlfriend is always in here".

Haha, this one made me laugh, tell him tough toenails

When you get a call from the tuxedo shop that says, "we can't seem to locate a shirt that will accomodate you".

When you break both clasps that hold your pants on when at a wedding.

When you are sitting at the edge of a couch and go to get up. Your belly is in the way and so you heave yourself up. Suddenly you hear a crack from the couch. You broke the wood across the front of the couch.

When you sweat when you eat.

Your drivers side seat is worn out from plopping your ass down on it.

You wear out mattresses quickly.

The doc's scale just won't weigh you anymore. In fact the nursing staff stops trying.

Every birthday card you get has pictures of food and sayings like "eat all your cake" or some other type of food challenge.

Today I found that Im a fatty and my friend too lol

A couple female friends took us for a ride in their small car, we went in the back side and could not fit properly.

The girls started to tease us about how wide we are, we had even a hard time to put the seat belts, couldnt connect the plug to the seat plug since it was under my friend leg hams

When the restaurant across from work knows your phone number and has your meal already done by the time you call.

You know you're a fatty when you need a seat belt extender in the airplane. I proudly asked for my first one the other day.