General

Interesting question. While I don't think that it's on the same level as explicitly sexual cheating (your oral sex example), it's almost certainly on the same spectrum. They're still doing something for gratification with someone other than their partner.
Does the partner know about said 'sessions'*? And what would their likely reaction be if they did (assuming it isn't an open relationship)? The answers to those would probably be quite telling as to whether it's cheating.


*That word implies a level of planning that makes it a bit suspect here. Having a meal with someone else is one thing (it would be impractical to be monogamous with food in the same way a foot fetishist shouldn't try avoiding non-amputees other than their partner!), but yeah...context and intent are everything here...

I think so, but you'd really have to ask the girlfriend.

I'd say feeding and a belly rub is definitely cheating. Especially if the guy is hiding it from his girlfriend.

There are those that would consider going to dinner with someone who is not their significant-other to be cheating. Soooo, I'll go on and say that engaging in feeding/fat-fetish behavior is definitely cheating.

If either of you wouldn't do it with his gf present..... Then obviously there is something to hide, and whatever you call it, it isn't good.

This seems to be a very sensible universal test.

Yes, I find feederism a more erotic act than sex, for myself at least.

I suppose so, but like I said, context is important. So I would count 'romantic' meals for two and feeding sessions to be definite feedist cheating, but not a meal out with friends as part of a wider social gathering like a party, pre-cinema food, or everyone grabbing a take away as they stagger back from the pub etc. Eating is so much a part of social lives that to cut out all other food related activity with others would be too restricting. Similarly, with our fictional foot fetishist analogy, I suppose your right that taking them shoe shopping would be cheating, but simply being around people with feet, and walking from place to place with people, isn't.

There again, maybe it does depending on how obsessive a feeder they are...

I dunno to be honest it's always been something that I questioned, but I guess not. It's something intimate but to different, can mean different things.... I guess it depends on the person feeding/ person being fed.

Apologies for the length. I had some catching up to do. LOL

I could see both sides of it really. I mean the whole reason people cheat is boredom and repressed urges/desires and a lack of communication to their partner in how to overcome that boredom and entertain those urges/desires.

If you look at the world "fetish" itself, because that is what feederism is. It gets gray, hence why a lot of people are saying it depends of the person or offering up their own feelings about it. The medical definition is the one that I always think of which is as follows, "an object or bodily part whose real or fantasized presence is PSYCHOLOGICALLY NECESSARY for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may INTERFERE with complete sexual expression." A fetish, like feederism, is needed to basically get off at least provide a damn good catalyst/aphordesiac; however, if not present it could very well prevent a person from getting off. This is where it becomes more of a discussion of how well you can tame the beast and discipline yourself because you are horny and want to release. Your partner may be well and good with their release but yours is lacking. This unevenness may be the drive to go have these private sessions and whatnot. All I'm saying really is that people cheat for various reasons, but the most common thread is that they wish to have something fulfilled and whomever they usually turn to can't get the job done. So it comes down to, do you blame yourself or do you blame your partner when it comes to cheating? Clearly both parties have their faults. He or she for not communicating, you for not asking if you could do anything to make it better. The list could go on.

Me personally, I don't feel as long and strong as I did with my ex (who was into feederism) than I do with my current girlfriend (she's not really into feederism). So in my case it stunts my ability some, but that is the nature of having a fetish, swinging that double-edged sword. My saving grace is that I have a variety of fetishes that I entertain and enjoy and some of them happen to overlap with my current girlfriend. Some people aren't as lucky so I can understand how the feedings, meals, tummy rubs,etc. could be considered as cheating.

I would say consider the two of you a dancing pair performing the tango or a sub/dom duo. It requires trust and communication, and then practice. If any of those are lacking, "why is it so?" where you examine them and yourself. And then you come back to the gray area of, can you really blame them? If so, than it's cheating. If not, well that is a lot of open-mindedness right there.

The Demolition Man