Lifestyle tips

Anxious new gainer

I don’t know how fast you’re gaining, but maybe you could slow it down a bit. You’d be allowing yourself time to adjust to the idea of gaining while still actively gaining, just slowly. Perhaps it would be reassuring to feel that if you decide to stop, your weight will have only been increasing slowly & you won’t be dramatically heavier, so it’ll be easier to get back to YOUR ideal size. Even if you don’t want to, it could be helpful just to have that thought tucked away at the back of your mind.

A corset & slow gaining might be enough to get you comfortable with your changing body, but please don’t sacrifice your comfort & confidence if it doesn’t. If your boyfriend is interested in aspects of the fetish aside from gaining, maybe try things like padding and having the occasional day where you pig out & get bloated for him. Maybe mix that with a slow (and potentially small) gain. IF gaining ends up not making you happy (it might!) you’ll need to reach a compromise. If it means he watches a lil feedee porn occasionally, so be it - as long as he priorities the sex & kink of your relationship, unlike before. Incorporate some roleplay & fantasy stuff maybe. Sometimes we say things during sex that we wouldn’t necessarily want to do outside of the bedroom.

Good luck with whatever you end up choosing! Hope you’re able to reach a solution that makes both of you happy.
2 years

Anxious new gainer

This sadly seems to be a common thread in many kink relationships. "My partner is/isn't into X but I am not/am into X. How do I choose between their happiness and mine?"

Since clearly the fetish is important enough to him that he is not willing to give it up, and it sounds unlikely that you will get to the point of enjoying the sort of gains he desires, you have a tough decision to make: Is it worth being unhappy for the duration of your relationship if it means he is happy and the sex is good?

I know that is pretty blunt and harsh, but in a healthy relationship, both/ all partners are happy both with themselves and with their partner(s). If that isn't the case, you'll need to decide how much you are willing to sacrifice for the sake of staying together.

Good luck figuring things out, I hope whatever you choose is for the best.
2 years

Anxious new gainer

Sounds a little one sided to me.
I think you need to make your concerns known to him.
Sweetoothsweeheart makes a lot of sense.
2 years

Anxious new gainer

One thing to observe and discuss is how much his increased sex drive comes with you being bigger, and how much is strictly tied to weight gain. Obviously you can't keep gaining forever! Hopefully a rounder, softer, you along with memories of your gain, are still a substantial turn-on for him?
2 years

Anxious new gainer

I know for me at least, I wouldn't feel right having a significant other getting fat if they weren't enthusiastically into it.

I'd love to have a fat partner, but it would kill the enjoyment for me if she wound up hating herself or resenting the kink. I'd rather her be skinny and happy with herself than fat and miserable. (Though obviously fat and happy is best scenario.)

At the end of the day, you're the one that has to live with the weight and your body. I don't know how long your relationship has been, or what kinds of milestones you've been through, but it'd be good I think to talk with him honestly about the reservations you've been having.
2 years