@Tillychan it shouldn't be so hard, I'm sorry it has been for you so far.
I'm not sure why I have success. I'm open to meeting and I communicate a lot, particularly around my boundaries and expectations. That either pushes people away, which is actually a good thing as it keeps me safe, or it shows I'm serious about meeting in person, which I am.
Some people say they are serious but chicken out when push comes to shove. That could be part of it possibly for your situation? They're not ready or willing to meet in person just yet? I had that with a guy and he literally ignored my check in message about when we were meant to meet and eventually he contacted me again and said he just wanted online, despite being 15 minutes from me and saying from the beginning he wanted to meet in person. He just wasn't ready to face his kink IRL. That's fine, I accept it, but we no longer communicate as I don't appreciate being strung along. Knowing your worth is important, particularly in kink. Sorry, got a little soapbox-y there!
I've never gone to a munch or other group meet up scenario but that might be a starting point for you to consider if you haven't yet tried it. You could set up the event if no one else in your local area is doing one. A casual get together in a group might appeal to some moreso than a first meet being one on one.
As @SinWithAGrin said, don't lose hope. Stay active in the online community and build rapport with people and it will happen x
1 year