I think it’s because I don’t want to be small. I want to have some size. I’m just about 5’5”-6” and feel small and shrunken even at 200 lbs.

Ironically I’m also a bit insecure about my looks. I like fat guys, they’re sexy and attractive, and I want to be and look like them.

This is partly from getting fat and partly from back surgery and loss of flexibility. After dropping a deuce I have to use the handheld shower head on the stream setting to clean myself. I can’t reach back and under. I don’t really go anywhere to worry about being out and having to use the bathroom. I don’t know what other people do.

I have meds for bp (not related to the weight) and anxiety that kill my libido. But there are times, especially when I’m pigging out that I get really turned on and have to masturbate.

I don’t know how extreme others consider it but for me it’s eating plain butter. I also eat sour cream and onion dip, cheese dip, whipped cream and cream cheese by the spoonful.

I was an amateur powerlifter and all around gym rat and weight lifter. I considered my the Minotaur, half man half beast. But I started getting fat and soft (and I’m pretty white 😆), so Marshmallow Minotaur.

I’ve always had a “weight problem”. I always gained easily and lost slowly. Because I like fat guys I decided to stop fighting my body and just let it do what it wants… gain fat.

I’m not at my heaviest but I’m at my fastest. I was an amateur powerlifter. I’m losing muscle and gaining fat since I stopped working out.

When I was gaining about 10 years ago I had a hard ball belly. As I’m getting older I’m developing soft blubbery fat, the kind I really like.

I’m seeing this accumulating on my moobs and even under my chin and my neck. I’m going further down the rabbit hole as I’m calling it. So to answer the question, it’s seeing the growing fat that’s making me want more.

I don’t have any shirts that ride up yet to show my belly. I do have button up shirts that are snug and the buttons pull a bit. It’s taken me a long time to unlearn trying to hold my gut in, and to wear shirts that the buttons pull. I enjoy and am proud to show off my belly.

When I’m in cotton gym shorts or just skivvies I tend to play with my growing fupa. I love the soft blubbery feeling it’s getting.

When I’m in bed or the shower I tend to cradle my entire belly. In the shower I often masturbate holding and cradling, and rubbing my belly.

I’m on the spectrum, bipolar hypomanic/depression, OCPD, GAD. I understand that bipolar and autism often overlap. It’s hard to tell the difference between an autistic meltdown and bipolar temper tantrum if someone doesn’t know the difference.

Like others say, I like reading about other people’s gaining, ideas for gaining, support, and just generally talking about gaining and being fat.