Chapter 3 - burritos in bed

"Where *oof* do you want *huff* this, baby?" Katie panted, trying to catch her breath.

Now on her sixth or seventh trip up and down the stairs, the pretty brunette was starting to wish she'd kept up those spinning classes at the gym. Twice-weekly boot camp and the odd game of tennis clearly wasn't cutting it. Her calves felt like someone had tied ten-pound weights to them.

Cheeks bulging with burrito, Ryan motioned irritably to the bedside table with a greasy finger, and frowned as Katie obediently placed the beer bottle down and gathered up the other three empties alongside it.

Frankly, he was pretty damn disgusted his wife had let herself get so out of shape that she got winded just going up and down the stairs.

For one thing, it meant she was taking much too long to serve him.

Katie was pretty sure her repeated trips back from kitchen to bedroom with extra drinks, sauces, condiments and napkins were revenge for her earlier jibe about the pecan pie, but it was clear the force of the comment - or any warning it may have contained - had long worn off. Leaning back, Ryan was inhaling a huge burrito in stages, a plate balanced on his ample stomach for easy access.

Access that was - Katie noted with widening eyes - getting easier all the time. For the more her husband ate, the closer his plate crept to his chin, his stomach swelling up to accomodate the huge spoonloads of heavy fare he was shovelling into it - along with big gulps of air. Ryan wore a 46, but Katie reckoned a good three or four inches of food and air had been added in the course of his bumper brunch - and there was still dessert to come.

The man himself was far too zoned out to notice, chomping away on Mexican treats with his eyes and mind fixated on the sports channel. Katie counted just one burrito and the remnants of a fajita remaining on the serveral plates on her husband's tray. The enchiladas were all gone, and the nacho bowl lay discarded on Katie's side of the bed, with nothing in it but crumbs and a few smears of guacamole.

No wonder his belly's getting so big, she mused, as Ryan licked sauce off his fingers and ran the back of his hand across his mouth, another burrito descending to pad out his meaty midsection even further.

Katie allowed herself a tired sigh, unable to figure out whether his messy speed-eating was a compliment to her cooking or a condemndation of his manners - or perhaps both. Either way, he was clearly enjoying himself. She'd be back in his good books in no time.

A faint beeping alerted her that the cheese souffle was ready to be removed from the oven. Without further ado, she headed off downstairs, once again, calves burning - just as Ryan lifted his final burrito.

********

*Click*

Bur ping with satisfaction, Ryan thumbed the share button and loaded up whatsapp, scrolling down to the grinning white-toothed profile picture of an archetypal football jock. Hitting "share" again he began to type in the caption: "Dessert - at last... and dessert of a different kind. Both served in bed. ;)."

Clicking send for the final time, Ryan forked a hunk of lemon souflee into his mouth, marvelling for a moment at his own photograpic genius. He'd managed to get the full dessert in shot, along with the end of the bed, the football on TV (mid touchdown celebration) and his wife's departing shorts-clad ass.

Hence the pun about doubling up on dessert.

"That'll show the arrogant b*astard," he thought smugly, hurridly slicing off another chunk of pie.

Several minutes and numerous scoopfuls later, Ryan's fork clattered to a cake smeared surface. Belching crumbs, the stuffed stockbroker groaned lightly, shuffling back in the bed, an act which brough up another burp as his burrito and cake laden belly jiggled into its new position. He whistled softly. Man he felt full. Time for a little nap.

Just as his eyelids were drooping, Ryan was jolted awake by a buzzing sensation. Looking down hazily in the direction of the noise, he found himself staring at the dome of a very full-looking gut.

It vibrated.

The sleepy stockbroker's frown of confusion morphed into a gape of wide-eyed horror. Scrambling up in bed, he gasped in shock, grasping his ample gut with both hands.

"KAAAT-RIINA!" he yelled urgently, looking round uselessly in panic as the vibrating continued to distrub it's surface. This was a disaster! He must've dropped his cellphone in the pie and.. somehow swallo-

Breathing out in relief, Ryan rolled his eyes and reached lifted his belly to retrieve the buzzing device, which had slipped just underneath.

Still panting from the exertion he flicked open the screen lock. There'd been a missed call from Jayden, but he'd deal with that later. For now, he clicked again on WhatsApp which was showing one new message.

It turned out to a photo which made his eyes bulge both in amazement and annoyance.

Three colossal, spectacular looking desserts were lined up on a glass coffee table: the remnant of a deeply dark black forest gateau bobbed in a bowl of cream, a large slice was missing from a heavily-sugared pie topped with countless cherries, revealing its red interior. Next to that, still fully intact, was towering slice of insanely creamy-looking chocolate tuxedo cheesecake.

Beneath it were the words: "I see your two desserts and raise you one. None of the other type for me until later. ;) shes off to yoga to firm those upper buns! #treatemmean #keepemlean"

Cheeks turning a violent shade of green - that was a four parts envy and one part enchilada overload - Ryan tossed his phone aside and looked up from the remnants of his pie. How the hell did Zach always manage to one-up him?!

"You called ba- oh!"

Katie took an involuntary step backwards as the green face of a clearly agitated husband looked up at her, his sizeable gut moving in and out, outlining his bellybutton against a straining, cream-stained pyjama t-shirt.

He opened his lips to demand an explanation and some alka seltzer.

Or so she'd expected. The two words that came out of her husband's mouth weren't difficult in themselves, but they were unexpected enough to make her stand for a moment in dumbfounded confusion - prompting Ryan to roll his eyes and repeat them.

"Well what are you waiting for? More souflee!"