chapter 1 — who’s who

‘Killian, Cassidy, come and do some sit-ups with me!’ yells Mum.

Hmph. She doesn’t even care that I wanna play this video game. She hates video games. Making my way to the living room, I see that Cass is already doing sit-ups with Mum.

Cass… well, Cassidy… is my sister. She’s like, 15 and yeah, we totally go to the same school. The thing is, we share the same room, so we’re like, FORCED to get along with each other. And we kinda do. But I also hate her. Like, when she goes all cry-baby to Mum and dobs me in for shit. Bitch.

‘Come on Killian… we’re already… up to 5… sit-ups’ says Mum.

‘I’m… going… for four… ty-five’ say’s Cass between puffs.

Mum and Dad are total fitness fanatics. They swim together, bike together, run together, and jog together. It gets worse though. They love doing basketball, tennis and volleyball in their spare time, and force me ‘n Cass to do this shit with them. We hate doing all this shit, but they’re brutal, they don’t give us a choice. I remember back when I was about 11, I was getting a bit tubby. Not for long though, ‘cause when Mum and Dad noticed, they made me do more fitness crap with them.

I squat down and get started. I totally hate it; but persist anyways. It’s a bit of a struggle when I get past 70, but I still pump out another 10. I could totally push myself to do a hundred, but seriously CBF. Eighty’s like, pretty decent. After the sit-ups I go and get changed into my running gear. Yeah, that’s right. I’ve just done 80 sit-ups and now I’m gonna do some running. It’s crazy, but I kinda like running. There’s something about gaining high speed with tons of wind-resistance pushing through my body, cooling you down. You’ve got that burning hot feeling in your legs, yet you command them to go faster. And they do. Running is a lot of fun, once you get started.

So, after running around the local river for an hour, we get back home for dinner. Mum and Dad are great cooks — tonight we’ve got spaghetti! Of course, I cover it with cheese and help myself to a second helping. Oh god, delicious! Mmmm-mmmm. Oh, it’s so good, I just have to have a third helping…

‘Whoa Killian, going for thirds! You must really like this dinner,’ says Dad.

‘I know right, it’s sooo good!’ I say back.

This time, however, I’ve barely eaten half of my third bowl before I suddenly become very full. The phrase ‘eyes bigger than belly’ springs to mind.

After a quick shower, I catch myself in the bathroom mirror. I can’t help but check myself out. I know right, you think I’m totally vain and shit… well, yeah, I am. After getting my clothes off, I weigh myself: 70 kgs [154 lbs]. On the lower end of the scale for someone who’s 1.78 m [5'10"], but the mirror doesn’t seem to mind. I have a lean body, flat stomach, slightly visible abs. It’s like this sort of upside-down triangle… you know, broad shoulders narrow waist. I’m pretty sexy, I reckon. I’ve worked really hard to get my body like this.

But the thing is… do I really want this body type? Ahh, never mind…

‘Hurry up Killian, you’ve been in there ten minutes already, what are you doing?’

Oh shit.

‘Just a sec’, I’m coming out’

I quickly change into my bedtime boxers and surrender the bathroom to my sister.

Back to the bedroom, I grab my Men’s Health magazine and start reading it in bed. Ha! ‘Reading’, now that’s a joke! I just lust over the masc. models who probs could have sex with anyone they want. Oh man! Front cover’s got this sexy belly hair! Not that hairy, but with a husky treasure trail… Cass is still in the bathroom, so this is like my only opportunity for a quick rub under the sheets.

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell ya… I’m gay.

So. The next day. Monday mornings are a total bitch, you know. So, my alarm goes off, and I hit ‘snooze’ right away. It’s like, why don’t I just set my alarm 10 minutes later and just wake up then? …Instead of hitting snooze. Not that it’ll help anyway, ‘cause Cass is like this, evangelist for sleep deprivation.

‘Wake up Killian! I’m opening the curtains Killian… Oh Killian, look at that beautiful sunshine out there! It’s brightened up the whole room! What a wonderful day for school!’

‘Fuck　off Cass’ I grunt.

‘I’m walking on sunshine… Woah-woah. And don’t I feel good! Oooh… right now!’

Anyways, I’m gonna skip through all the crap where I get ready for school and catch the bus. In fact, I’m gonna skip through the whole morning until the start of sports class.

Every sports class, we gotta get changed in the change rooms. I always do it as slowly as possible, folding my clothes neatly, buying more time to perve. The guys don’t even notice me doing it. But then maybe that’s ‘cause I only perve on like, one guy: Hans. He’s 1.83 m [6 foot] tall, has this rich European tan except for his body, which is a few shades lighter from his T-shirt. Hans has a gut… a nice soft looking man gut. And moobs too, he’s got these nice medium sized man boobs. I stare at the way he casually walks around the change room topless, almost parading his gut in pride before covering up with his sports shirt.

The bummer with all of this is I get a bit excited down there. Yeah, I totally fantasise about getting all hot with him, staring into his steel-blue eyes. He’s a cutie. I bet he weighs like 100 kgs [220 lbs]. I just want to touch his thick, soft, bouncy belly. I make sure to perve discretely and pull up my sports shorts quickly to hide my boner. Most of the other guys have left the change room by now anyways.

We’re out on the track today and Mr. Haddad is like, making us do a 2 km [1.25 miles] run around the track. I’m cool with this, ‘cause I’m really competitive and want to win. It’s not even a race, but I just wanna beat everyone else anyway. Especially Iluka.

Iluka is my rival, and best friend. He always beats me at everything… running, swimming, table tennis and football. Hell, he even beats me in video games. It’s like, he barely even tries and still beats me easy. Fucking bastard. But we get each other and do everything together.

So. I’m running at high speed next to Iluka. Each of my powerful legs spring hard into the ground, and the other leg stretches far out for the next landing. My arms are pumping long and fast. My breathing is deep and rhythmic… but I’m still not going my fastest yet. With only 10 m [11 yards] to go, I pump my legs even harder, I stop breathing altogether, I feel the wind cooling me down even faster as I accelerate past Iluka. I can’t fucking believe this! Neither can he, by the look of his face. He’s struggling to run faster. YES! I DID IT! I FINALLY WON! I’ve never worked so hard in my life. At last, I have finally defeated Iluka!

‘WOOOHOOO! VICTORY IS MINE!!!’ I scream… like how can I deny this once in a lifetime opportunity?

‘Fuck, you’re fast!’ breaths Iluka, ‘Well done Killian’

After settling down for a while, I watch the rest of the class complete their run. Hans is so lazy; he simply walks around the track. I notice the way his gut pushes out slightly beneath his T-shirt, and the slight indent where his belly button is. His man boobs definitely push out gently, and his whole body slightly shakes with each step. I’m getting horny from watching him.

‘Fuck me, check out Anahera’s tits Killian! Now they’re some quality jugs mate!’

‘Getting a bit excited down there bro?’ I tease.

‘Sure am, and look mate, you’re pretty hard yourself! Don’t deny it, you like ‘em too don’cha?’

‘Nah mate, I’m not looking at ANAHERA’s boobs’ I respond.

‘Seriously? Whose then, if they aren’t Anahera’s?’

‘Fuck　off, I ain’t telling you!’

‘Give it up Killian, you’re not gonna get a root if you’re don’t live up to your dick’s desires’ says Iluka, which is actually like, kinda profound for him.

Oh, come on, of course I’m closeted. Except for Cass… nobody knows I’m gay.