chapter 1; what did matter?

A quarantine gain.

Melody had always been careful of her weight, she wasn’t tall at 5.3 and she easily gained weight if she wasn’t careful. A gorgeous girl she had always suffered from low self-esteem and poor body image, to spite the fact that she had close to an idea body. She had large breasts a nice round butt that shaped out her hourglass figure well. The only time she had ‘let herself go’ was after her first boyfriend broke up with her when she was 18.

She had always preferred junk food, and sweets but in her misery she ate to lessen the pain, and it did not take long to show. Her usual 130-135lbs quickly turned into 150 then 160 lbs, which turned her hourglass into a pear shape over the course of a year. The biggest issue was once she started gaining she became depressed and this just made her eat more, it was a cycle.

After partying and fucking the pain away for just over a year she began to realise if she was going to find a ‘proper man’ she needed to get her body back on track. A usually lazy girl she forced herself to go to the gym and cut back on food in order to shed the weight.

She got there with only a few regressions back to her old ways, but one thing never left her, she was never happy with her body, She always felt less than, she always felt fat and undesirable unless she was having sex that is.

She eventually met her ‘ideal man’ and they dated, at first she started to relax and lessen her grip on that perfect figure but Kurt (Her boyfriend) made it pretty clear he did not approve of any weight gain. Her self loathing took over and she ended up the thinest she had ever been at a almost sickly 125 lbs.

You know things may have continued like that for Melody, she would have fought hard to force herself into the mould she thought was appealing for as long as she could. Of course this was early 2020 and Covid 19 was just about to change her life forever.

We all know how quickly things changed in that first month, and before she knew it Melody was in a ‘suggested’ self isolation. Her work closed and her social circle all sealed away in their own little comfortable homes. There was one major issue that melody had, she was bored and quickly turning to food for comfort. It had only been two weeks but she could already feel the weight pilling on, and she was getting down on herself and the only way she had managed to turn that off in the past by getting laid.

So she tried calling her boyfriend but no luck, so she drove over… She knew she wasn’t supposed to, she knew it wasn’t allowed but she needed to feel loved. To feel wanted.

She put on her sexiest dress, the one Kurt liked it was a little tight now but luckily most of the weight she had gained had gone to her breasts and arse, so if anything she looked sexier, even if it did highlight her growing little belly.

She went to the door and went to knock, only to notice it was unlocked, she figured she would surprise him. She stripped down her to her underwear and snuck across the hall, she had expected to find him in the lounge room but he wasn’t there. He often played video games in bed so that was the only likely place.

She swung open the door and saw… well. You’ve probably already guessed. Kurt wasn’t playing video games, but he was a cheat. Kurt was there laying on the bed with his ex Katie ridding him like a bull.

Melody ran out of the room, luckily they didn’t hear her, she had no interest in talking to either of them. She grabbed her dress and ran to the car, not even bothering to put it back on, she sat in the car crying. Looking down at her body, at her little belly which seemed somehow bigger. She was so disgusting no wonder he cheated on her. Look at her, she was such a fat pig, only two weeks at home and she had already let herself go. She had no discipline at all... She didn't deserve him.

She drove back home defeated. She went straight for the freezer and grabbed her ‘cheat’ ice cream and sat on the couch in her underwear eating the whole gallon.

She hated herself for doing it but the whole time she kept telling herself. What did it matter? She would never be able to keep a man. She was too ugly, and too lazy, what did it matter if she was too fat as well.

Tears ran down her face as she stuffed each bite of ice cream into her mouth. At least this made her feel good.