chapter 6

The doctor's bizarre advice, coupled with my confirmation that I would provide Carolyn with anything and everything she wanted, seemed to give her permission to do everything to excess. Perhaps if I had thought a bit more about her comments that she wanted everything she liked and she wanted it all straight away, I would not have so readily agreed to give her whatever she asked for to make her happy. Whether she had misunderstood the doctor or was just using her as an excuse, she wasted no time in telling me that she expected two packets of cigarettes outside her bedroom door every morning.

"Send Jenkins to sort it out every day," she said. Paul was not thrilled with her attitude and again, in private, told me in no uncertain terms what he thought of Carolyn.

"It's only for one more week," I replied. "Let's just ride it out."

I also noticed over the following days that Carolyn's appetite had not diminished in the slightest! Again, I don't know if she had misinterpreted the doctor's comments, or was just foolish, but she seemed to believe that she could eat just as much as before - sometimes more - and if she had a cigarette immediately afterwards, it would not affect her weight. In fact, I think she was possibly eating more as her smoking and snacking seemed to become linked over the course of that week.

When I first met Carolyn, she was not a heavy smoker; a pack could last her two to three days, so she found the leap to two packs a day quite difficult. At one point, she even asked me to work out how often she needed to smoke to fit the all in and looked quite taken aback when I pointed out that, allowing for sixteen hours awake per day, it came to every twenty four minutes. I sometimes saw her watching the clock, looking almost disappointed when the time came round again, but Carolyn was stubborn. She would not admit that she had made a mistake with her demands, so she forced a smile and lit another cigarette.

I was concerned both for her health and her happiness, so I tried to give her a way to cut back without losing face. I told her that Jenkins was struggling to get supplies every day with his other duties, and perhaps she could allow him to deliver her cigarettes every other day; but she just sneered and suggested that I bulk buy at the beginning of the week or arrange delivery. She also suggested I should employ somebody more capable "as Jenkins clearly cannot cope with the job." I am not sure whether Carolyn was serious or if she had seen through my attempt at diplomacy. Either way, she took it not as a way for her to step back from the situation she had created, but as a challenge! She was going to prove to me that she was capable of smoking two packs per day and there would be no more discussion on the matter.

As I said, she also seemed to be eating more, but that did not really matter to me as I loved watching her eat, so I made sure there were always plenty of snacks around the house. I took particular notice of the ones she liked and made sure that I had more of those freely available. By the Wednesday, there was a box of doughnuts, a few iced cream buns and a selection of chocolate biscuits in almost every room Carolyn used.
On top of this snacking, Carolyn was still enjoying regular meals, either prepared by the chef or from a take away. We barely left the house on that second week as Carolyn said she had no desire to go anywhere. However, I was genuinely concerned at the lifestyle she wanted and decided to raise the issue on Tuesday, while we were sat having dinner. We had just finished a starter of deep fried potato skins, stuffed with cheese, chives and sour cream. I say "we" but actually, I despise cheese so Carolyn got my helping too. I told her that I had to go into the kitchen to give the chef a telling off for ruining my meal, but actually I went in to thank him for his brilliant idea. I had asked him to find a way to make Carolyn eat more without me having to match the amount that he was feeding her, and his solution was to "accidentally" prepare a meal I would not like. It was so simple and appeared so innocent; it was pure genius!

Anyway, when I returned, Carolyn was having a between course cigarette and the Merlot was flowing freely in anticipation of the beef stroganoff main course. She seemed more content than she had over the weekend, so I decided to be direct with her, explaining that I was concerned for her health and thinking she would perhaps be prepared to listen, especially as she had just finished her second glass of red wine and was signalling to the serving staff for a refill. However, as soon as she realised what I was about to say, she hung her head and showed that she had no desire to discuss the matter. In frustration, I dismissed the servants, telling them I would call them back in when we were ready for the main course. Once I was alone with Carolyn, I moved my chair beside her and took her hand. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes, but either would not or could not tell me what was wrong.

"Take your time," I said. "But not too long or the beef will spoil and chef will get all sarcastic about it." That brought a smile to Carolyn's face and she laid a head on my shoulder.

"I am so sorry," she said. "I want us to be together, but my previous boyfriend..." I noticed her lip begin to wobble, and she was unable to finish the sentence. I knew it was only a short time and I should not have developed such strong feelings for Carolyn as we had only spent a week or so together, but it did annoy me that she used this previous relationship excuse a lot. I felt guilty thinking this; rationally, I knew the break up was still very fresh in her mind and she was relatively young, but part of me just wanted to tell her to move on! I was able to recognise that this was for purely selfish reasons, so I held my tongue and nodded sympathetically.

"He used to criticise me constantly," she said, "and now you are telling me that you want me to change too!"
I shook my head and tried to explain that she had misunderstood my concern, confusing it with a control issue, but she was not in the mood to listen, so I moved my chair back and signalled the staff to begin serving the stroganoff. We spent the rest of the meal in awkward silence, but the atmosphere and lack of conversation did not affect Carolyn's appetite and she enjoyed a full plate of rice coated with the creamy mushroom sauce. I had told the servants to make it look like they gave us equal portions, but to actually serve her a lot more than me. I wanted to see just how much she would eat if they kept giving her food.

Dessert had to be delayed by another between course cigarette, and I found it incredibly frustrating as all I wanted to do was watch Carolyn eat! However, the delay also increased my anticipation so much that I could barely contain my excitement when a large bowl of vanilla pudding was brought from the kitchen and placed in front of her. Once again, the chef had surpassed all expectation by producing a light and fluffy mousse; so easy to eat that, even though Carolyn felt full, she just kept going. When she pushed back the empty bowl, she could not believe how much she had stuffed herself and I could clearly see the discomfort in her eyes.

"I think you need to lie down again," I told her, and I helped her through to the settee. Once settled, the first thing Carolyn did was light yet another cigarette and wait for me to comment, almost as though she were daring me to criticise her. To be honest, I was too distracted by looking at her over-full belly, so packed that even when she laid down, it was a small but perfect dome. I don't know how, but I managed to resist the urge to rub it and poke it to feel if it was as solid as it looked.

So that is how the rest of my second week with Carolyn passed: quickly and uneventfully with every day being an almost constant stream of eating and smoking. By the Friday, we had to go into the city and buy her a new set of clothes for the holiday as she had definitely gained weight and could no longer fasten her jeans, although they had already been tight around the waist when I first met her.

Carolyn tried on first one size up, and they did fasten when she sucked her stomach in, but they were quite snug and a small roll of fat bulged over the top when she breathed out. With a sigh of resignation, Carolyn decided to get clothes two sizes larger, but even though they were a lot more comfortable, she was certainly not happy about it.

"That doctor said I would not get fat," she complained to me as I handed over my platinum card to the shop assistant. "I can't believe I've had to buy a complete new wardrobe!" I had to smile to myself as Carolyn had not actually bought a damn thing! I did not mind though; all I could think of was the red bikini I had seen her pick up.

So on the Saturday morning Paul drove us back to Heathrow and we boarded a plane for Sydney on the first leg of the journey to deliver Carolyn to my employers. I had never been to their island paradise before, so it was with a mixture of nervousness and excitement I took my seat next to Carolyn in first class and impatiently waited for take-off.