Chapter 3 - licensed to eat

I wanted to start this chapter off by sharing something quite random that happened to me this morning... So I wake up and check my Feabie profile (if you don't know what Feabie is, google it, you'll thank me later) and I see that I got a message from someone who looked rather familiar. So I click on the profile and low and behold it's a guy from my hometown who I used to think was super immature and super annoying, but he's also super cute now, so! Gotta look on the bright side, right? ;D The last time we spoke we were 15 so I'll cut him some slack. I can't lie I was completely nervous at first to respond to him, but also low-key loved how much of a turn on it was to be so exposed to someone who I never in a million, trillion years would have expected to be interested in me, or my body type. Knowing he was possibly sitting there looking at my pics and thinking about how hot my big belly is just makes me get butterflies inside! Heh

Anyways, back to my feederism journey and how I got to where I am!

Moving to California was seriously the best thing that ever happened to my belly. In junior year of high school I met a girl named Carey in my photography class. She was a senior, and thanks to me being new, I was able to sneak off campus for lunch with her because they thought I was a senior too, woohoo! This also assisted in my gaining, for sure. We'd either go to Ralph's, Gelson's, or La Salsa for lunch. No matter where we went though I of course always got soda! Speaking of soda, I remember sometimes I'd walk into my math class after lunch (I was in the dumb math so there were kids from 10th-12th grade in there) and people would be jealous when I'd have a drink from some place and I'd tell them I went off campus. And I can't lie I felt pretty cool heh. Look at me getting side tracked again there! Carey was a great friend when I first met her. She was super friendly, super easy going, and we also really clicked because we were both kids who had always been goody two shoes, but had also always wanted to experiment with our "wild sides". One of my favorite things that we used to do was have jacuzzi nights at the pool in my complex, smoke a bunch of weed, and then take a late night trip to Taco Bell once we had the munchies. She was another friend whose house I loved going to because her dad would just let me open up the fridge or cabinets and take whatever I wanted. Her house was always stocked with snacks and yummy frozen meals too which was awesome. Unfortunately Carey is now more interested in having a good body than eating good food, and she also no longer smokes weed really. But that's okay, because I'll never stop munching!

It was just so wonderful having a friend who could drive in general. No parents around to pick us up or drop us off meant I could go and get food anywhere I convinced her to take us! Like those late night Taco Bell runs..no way could I have ever convinced my mom to take me there at 9:30 P.M. on a school night while I'm baked af haha.

I didn't get my license/car until my senior year, and honestly the thing I was most excited about wasn't not needing my parents to drive me everywhere, or to get to go places with friends maybe I wouldn't want to tell my mom or dad, but it was to be able to go buy food wherever, whenever! One of my first "solo binges" we'll call it was when one day after school I decided to go get a burrito at this really good mom and pop Mexican spot my friend showed me. I ordered a chicken ranch burrito, which was quite large, and while I was driving home with a big belly full of burrito, I decided that I wanted more. So I pulled into the McDonald's drive-through and got myself a Big Mac. Then when I got home I didn't want my parents to see me with it, because if they saw me eating that then they would say I didn't need to have dinner in another hour or two, so I snuck up to my bathroom and gobbled it up as fast as I could.

Now this is probably something most people wouldn't remember, and you might make fun of me for and I wouldn't blame you ahah, but for me it was a somewhat special moment. And that special something I'm referring to was the first time I ordered a Venti size drink at Starbucks. It does make me laugh a little that I'm so obsessed with food that I remember such a minuscule thing :P. But it's something I'll never forget! I was working on a project with my friend and of course sitting in Starbucks I had to order something. Usually I was allowed to get one Grande drink and no snacks when I went with my mom. This time I spoiled myself with a Venti iced caramel macchiato and an apple fritter. And the best part was my mom never had to find out!

There was another time when I went to my friend Allison's house for her birthday where she had a huge buffet that my fat ass most definitely partook in. After I got home I told my mom that the food there sucked and I was still hungry, because if it was past 8 o'clock I needed an excuse like "please don't let me go to bed starving" to be eating hah.

I will also say that thank god that after school I got the house to myself for about an hour to eat whatever I pleased because when I came home, I was always extra HANGRY then. I'd rush into the kitchen as fast as I could and the first thing I'd make was a turkey, swiss, mayo, and sometimes bologna sandwich for myself. Then I'd look for anything else I could quickly heat up like pasta or pizza, any leftovers basically. And once those were finished it was time for a little snacky snack, and that way if my mom did come home, she would have just thought I was eating that one small thing! Genius, I know.

Over time I was slowly but surely falling in love with gorging myself, and now it's something I don't think I'll ever be able to stop!