Chapter 26 - section 26

Tens of minutes go by, full of munching jaws and swallowing, neither losing binge-fueled momentum, midsections creeping out. Ruby's is hidden better than Georgia's under a thick jacket, but a form is still noticeable. They finish their first pizzas at the same time, the audience growing tense with expectation. Someone has to bow out now, surely. But the more Ruby and Georgia swallow, the more they get drunk - not off booze, but off cheese, flavoring, salami and more carbs than is can be good for you. Halfway through their second pizzas they simultaneously reach this funky, floating, close-to-sleep nirvana where their entire consciousness, everything in their awareness, has narrowed down to pizza, bringing it to their mouths, biting, and then swallowing, in that order.

Which is why the last half of the race is over faster than the first. On to their final slices, it's an aggressive race to the end. Biting will take too long - they both attempt to cram the entire slice into their mouth and chew. Here, in this last thirty seconds, is a paradigm example of two close-but-competitive friends have an opportunity to out-do the other, and neither of them are okay with defeat, not even in humility. Their eyes are locked as they chew - Georgia's hot and aggressive, Ruby's cheeky and self-sure. The audience has crowded around, almost invading personal space, leaning in, beginning to chant as if the whole thing is actually a beer-bong scull, but instead of "Scull!" we hear: "Chew! Chew! Chew! Chew! Chew! "

Midway through a bite, slipping into panic, Ruby accidentally crunches her tongue instead of the pizza. There's no pain, just hot numbness. But unfortunately, it makes her tongue fall limp for a moment. She can't quite swallow. Eventually she manages to - but it's all too late. It's done. Georgia has just opened her mouth and is letting her win be judged. The audience flings their hands up in the air and cheers. Georgia falls back in smug victory, eyeing Ruby with a sour look of "I Told You So".

While part of her wants to lash out and smack Georgia, the better part of her - this newfound humiliative side of her she's been indulging lately - is victorious in its own way. Why? Well, there sits Georgia, drunk enough to be falling around with exhaustion and post-binge grogginess, and on top of that, having consumed way more than she needs.

Ruby silently finishes all her mouthful, proves it, and is admitted "second prize". Someone goes off to fetch it and promptly returns with the host, Lucio Bean, who scratches his head and goes, 'So apparently there's first and second prize for eating something?'

The self-proclaimed proclaimer nods with a stupid drunk smile and points at Georgia, who lays slouched back into the lounge, stomach massively distended with food.

'Well, uhh. Right,' says Lucio. 'Dunno what's going on here? There's no real first prize. But this is all I've got.' He gestures to the self-proclaimed proclaimer, who holds up a bottle of vodka and a plastic bag filled with random junk food probably taken from his cupboards: chips, lollies, chocolate. He puts it all down beside Georgia. To Ruby he presents a beer and a single block of chocolate.

And that is that.

The audience disperses merrily and the two of them lay back lolling their heads around trying to recover from such a huge binge. Vikky is laughing, too drunk to really think, hold on a sec, is eating that much ever good for you?

At about eleven o'clock, other people have begun to turn up uninvited. Nobody seems to mind. The more the merrier, and these aren't gate crashers. They're bringing their own booze and party tricks.

One guy named "The Clocker" is hovering around utterly bamboozling partygoers with a magic trick using two pocket watches, a deck of cards and a condom he makes appear in the drink of some poor unsuspecting bystander to rounds of laughter.

This girl who everyone is calling "Pigeon" is making a huge show of using Lucio's kitchen to make hash brownies, doing ballet flurries with her limbs all while someone decorates her head with a green Irish top hat, a cannabutter stink going up in huge yellow plumes from the stovetop.

A journalist is rumoured to have been sneaking around the party to interview its members on a story which will appear tomorrow as: "Rudest Party in Town History Pays Of Cops to Keep Away". Gossip also floats by that whoever has paid the cops to stay away from the party is rich, and is here right now. A sort of search begins in secret. Not a witch hunt; more a desire to lift this person up and march them about the flat chanting their name. The anonymous benefactor never shows their face.

"Shot Wave Time" is announced at random. Two tables are connected end to end and lined with ten shots of who the hell knows what. Ruby, Georgia and Molly find themselves joining the end of the line. Someone calls One-Two-Three and the line of people tip their shots in a mexican wave. Burning, musky liquid hits the back of their throats and they gulp down, using as a chaser whatever is nearby. Grabbing blindly, Georgia accidentally throws back a hearty gulp of yet more spirits - which really sends her gagging. Once recovered, she lashes in humiliation at Ruby, who just stands there laughing alongside Molly. 'Fuc u Ruby u pig,' Georgia says.

'Oi u called me a pig?' Ruby laughs so hard she snorts, then laughs at having snorted, making her snort even worse. The music blaring in their ears is spinning them into utter confusion. They can't hold onto a single thought for longer than it takes a sparrow to fart.

'Yeah u pig, hay, but, but godamit girl I love u tho, hay-'

Ruby beams, swishing her bottle, leans towards Georgia. All head-drunked and giving in to any first instinct, Georgia and Ruby actually peck each other on the lips just to prove it. From side on, Molly spits in laughter as they stumble into each other and touch disproportionate stomachs as if pregnant. 'Hey preggos!' she yells, laughing to herself. But they don't hear. Ruby falls past Georgia headfirst into a beanbag at the feet of, who else, but Lucio Bean. Lucio breaks away from a conversation and looks down at the beanbag behind his feet. 'Oh shit,' he shouts over the music. 'Wait a sec guys.' And stoops down to help Ruby back up. Since she won't make any effort herself, he has to grab her under the arms and hoist her up with all his strength. Flopped against him, Ruby looks up like a puppy-eyed ragdoll and giggles obscenely.

'Can you stand?' he asks. Ruby only sputters and giggles. Lucio turns to his mates and says ance again, 'Gimme a sec guys, I gotta keep another bad case from happening.' Then proceeds to guide a trip-stumbling Ruby to his kitchen, where he'll supposedly give her a glass of water and some time away from alcohol. Georgia takes Molly and moves on to party with Vikky, unable to witness Ruby get that much attention.

Out of jealousy, she starts drinking and eating again as she rollicks about with Molly and Vikky, hoping someone will come along and save her from having a "bad case". But it doesn't happen. So she just eats and drinks more.

Someone is on their hands and knees over someone else's pool of vomit leaning over to lick it for a pathetic ten bucks. Once they do, the crowd cheers deafeningly loud and hands him a ten dollar note - but then, revolted, he pukes, adding to the vomit. A second challenger, determined to usurp the throne of The Jackass, asks for twenty bucks to lick both pools of vomit. He succeeds, then also pukes.

The night goes on more or less according to this template.

Amidst partying, Georgia keeps catching sight of Ruby sitting up on the kitchen bench, jacket off and bloated stomach fighting with her shirt, talking with Lucio. Has Ruby's waist always been that round? Makes her blood seethe. But if it makes her feel any better, Georgia knows nobody will find her attractive anyway. She's bellied, shorter than Georgia, and hasn't got such long hair. Even Vikky has longer hair than her.

Nevertheless, both end up binging on food in massive amounts which seems to keep arriving at the door thanks to anonymous orders.

Somebody going past Georgia's unzips her fly as a joke, but she's too drunk to see who it was to shout at them, too gone in the head to even zip it back up again. Unable to hold patterns of thought, she forgets it as soon as Molly mentions something to her, which she forgets, and spends the rest of the night stumbling around open-flyed. Georgia drinks herself on a clear trajectory straight into oblivion, along with Molly and Vikky, crazy shit happening all around them. As for Ruby, who knows.

And who knows what else happens after this point? It's all a generalised, abstract blur of events appearing somewhat connected to each other, but not by cause or effect... mostly emotional overtones and laughter at nothing, desires being felt and giving into whatever idea pops into their heads first. All anyone knows for sure is that someone's doing the rounds with yet another tray of jello shots, and-


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