chapter 5

I went and got a haircut that morning, my standard fade. I took my truck to the carwash. I lifted with my dad and brother in the garage for about an hour. I was pretty pumped afterwards, my arms and shoulders slightly sore. Fuck, I loved that feeling. I wondered if Aidan liked that I was so muscular. Maybe that’d cancel out the fact that I was also fat as fuck.

I tried on at least twenty different outfits, slightly panicked because I couldn’t wear sweats. I decided on a pair of jeans that had seen better days, but they were my roomiest pair. I threw on a 4-XL t-shirt and layered my letterman jacket over it. I wore some white Nikes, size sixteen. Before I left, I put on some diamond stud earrings and a simple chain necklace. I didn’t look half bad. Hell, I’d even venture to say I looked good.

I told my parents I’d be out late and drove to his place. I didn’t know if I should go in to meet his parents or not. I figured I should. I got out and went up to the door. I texted Aidan and then rang the doorbell. A very pretty girl answered. She looked to be about the same age as me and Aidan. She actually looked a lot like Aidan. They had to be siblings.

“Uh, hi,” I said, a big goofy smile on my face. I was way too excited, but I couldn’t help it. “My name is Oakley Rivers. I’m here to pick up Aidan.” She stared at me for moment, looking kind of angry. I began to feel uncomfortable. Maybe I had the wrong house.

“Yeah, sure. He’ll be down in a minute.” She didn’t invite me inside; instead, she came out onto the porch and closed the door. Her voice was the opposite of Aidan’s. From that intimidating stare down, I didn’t expect the voice of a Powerpuff Girl.

“So, are you Aidan’s sister?” I asked, looking down at her. She also had big, curly hair like Aidan. If Aidan was a deer, she was also a deer—an angry, intimidating deer that could slice a grizzly bear in half.

“Twin sister, actually.” He hadn’t mentioned any siblings this week while we were texting. I’d have to ask him more about his family tonight. “My name is Autumn.” She was shorter than Aidan by an inch or two, but oddly felt much larger.

“It's nice to meet you,” I said. “Do you still go to Jefferson?”

“I do not,” she said, coming closer. “I graduated last year, like Aidan should have.” She poked a perfectly manicured nail into my chest. “If you're fucking with him, I will kill you.” Her nail dug into my skin. “Got it?”

“Yeah, I got it. I—I’m not messing with him. I swear.” The door opened and there Aidan stood, looking incredible. His hair was pulled back again, and I think he might have been wearing a little bit of makeup, like some eyeliner and a little bit of glitter on his eyelids. He looked like he was a cast member on Euphoria or something. I couldn’t believe someone so cool had agreed to go out with me.

He had on some of those chunky platform sneakers and baggy jeans. He wore an oversized denim jacket with a slightly cropped anime t-shirt underneath. It looked like one of the shows I had seen my brother watching before. This outfit was nothing like the sort of stuff that I’d seen him wear at school. This was intimidating. I looked like shit compared to him.

“Hi Oakley,” he said in his smooth, deep voice. “You look great.”

“Hey, um, thanks,” I responded, my voice cracking slightly. “You look really awesome.”

“Autumn, what are you doing?” he asked, closing the door and joining us on the porch.

“We were just getting to know each other.” She smiled at me and I smiled back. I got the feeling that if I didn’t, she’d stab me or something.

“Oh, okay, that’s good,” he said, giving her a quick hug. “Are you ready?” he asked me.

“Should I say hello to your parents?”

“No, let’s just go.”

“Okay, sure.”

“Bye Autumn,” he called as we left.

“See you later Aidan,” she called cheerily. I turned and gave a slight wave. “Bye Oakley,” she added dryly. She hated me.

We walked out to my truck and sat there for a moment. I was really happy. I was on a date with Aidan. “So, it’s a pretty nice night for the end of October. It’ll probably get colder soon, so I was thinking we could pick up some food and eat it in the bed of the truck.” He nodded, and it made me feel like this was a lame idea. I wish he’d talk more. It’d make me less anxious. “That’s probably a dumb idea. You’re wearing such a nice outfit. I got a carwash today, so I thought it’d be clean enough. I brought a blanket too. I’m sorry, it’s dumb. What—what do you wanna do?” I asked finally, realizing I’d rambled for far too long.

“No, I'm okay with that,” he said. He laughed a bit. “I really appreciate you taking the time to plan all of this. This is my first date, so I'm a bit nervous.”

“This is my first date too,” I said.

“With a guy?” he asked.

“No, with anybody.”

“Whoa, really?” he asked in surprise. “You’re so popular, I just assumed you’ve gone out on a ton of dates.”

“Have you seen me?” I asked. “Nobody is trying to go out with me. I don’t even know why you’re here to be honest. I’m kind of scared I forced you into this.”

He turned in his seat to look at me. It felt really intense, like he had something he really wanted to emphasize to me. He reached across the middle armrest and placed his hand on mine. “I want to be here,” he said. “Don’t think that I don’t want to be.” I felt like I was in a movie. Guys like me weren’t the lead in rom-coms, but he was making me believe that maybe I could be.

“Okay,” I said, grabbing his hand in mine. We sat like that for a few minutes, and it was really nice. I couldn’t believe how special he made me feel. He said he was here because he wanted to be, and I had to push away the negative thoughts that said that was a lie. I was going to enjoy this night.

“Now let’s go get some food,” he said finally, shifting in his seat and putting on his seatbelt.

I drove to one of those fast-food places that had like fifty different menu items. I wasn’t too sure what he liked, so I wanted to make sure he had options. I loved this place, so hopefully he enjoyed it too. “We can get the food and then drive somewhere private to eat,” I said. He agreed and we went inside. He perused the menu and I waited already knowing what I wanted. My stomach growled at the thought of devouring a gyro and cheese fries.

“Would it be lame if I ordered chicken tenders?” he asked.

“Definitely not lame,” I replied. “That’s what my brother always gets. They’re pretty good.”

I walked up to the counter and placed our order. I got his chicken tender meal and a gyro platter for myself (no onions) with a large cheese fry. I also ordered extra fries and two milkshakes. I didn’t know what kind he liked so I got one chocolate and one vanilla. I met him off towards the side so we could wait for the food together.

“How much was it?” he asked. “We can split it fifty-fifty.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He looked up at me expectantly.

“You can pay when we do none food related stuff,” I said, scratching at my chin. “It’s not fair to make you pay when you barely eat anything.” He lowered his wallet, putting it back in his pocket. We didn’t say much as we waited, but it was nice just being out with him. I didn’t mind the silence this time.

Some guys came in and he turned his body towards me, so his face was slightly obscured. “You okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’m all good,” he said, turning even further, so his back was almost completely facing the door and those guys who had just come in. They had called ahead so their food was already prepared. They grabbed it and were gone within two minutes.

“Those guys are gone,” I said.

“Sorry about that,” he said, smiling. “Just some people I didn’t want to see.”

“Order six-fifty,” the cashier called. I went to the counter to grab our food and we were back out at my truck. He was even more silent than before. I was kind of pissed those guys showed up. I was finally getting him to be more comfortable and now he was on edge again. We rode in silence to a forest preserve a few miles from where the restaurant was.

“Wait here,” I said, hopping out and getting the blanket set up. “Okay, come on!”

Next thing I knew, I was sitting in the bed of my truck eating takeout with Aidan Ashford. It was kind of dark, but I knew that’d be the case, so I brought along a couple of candles. It was definitely romantic. We talked and there were barely any awkward pauses. He chose the vanilla milkshake. I realized he was pretty smart, and it made him even more intimidating. He liked a lot of nerdy stuff and gay stuff I’d never heard of. I wanted to write down some of the things he was talking about so I could research it on my own. He let me talk about football, even though I didn’t think he was all that interested in sports. I wanted to ask him about that day in the bathroom, the one when I first heard him talk. I wanted to ask him about those guys at the restaurant. The conversation turned towards Phys Ed.