Body and soul - love and marriage

Chapter 3 - extras

Notes, Comments, and Interesting but Incomplete Ideas, Additions, and Continuations

-

gaining 20 or 30 pounds so many times only to be forced to lose it. it became harder and harder to lose. My skin was robust, only the tiniest stretchmarks ever appeared, but many of them did so.
Finally in a loss I lost so much I became weak. He was all too eager to help me to bed. To keep me there. Perhaps this is what he'd been waiting for. Perhaps it was only one of many signals. Or perhaps he just saw opportunity to get me off and good. In the following weeks I gained more and faster than I ever had before, gaining over 60 pounds by the time I was strong enough to get moving again. Watching me lying there naked one day, a new gleam came over him. He got me back to exercising and lost the weight, but I imagined now that new gleam never completely left his eyes again. He'd liked me like that, I knew, sedentary and fed and gaining his weight as he fed calories into me constantly. And he'd liked me that size, so fat, fatter than I'd been since he first made me lose, and now fat on his fat, his love and will

Never knowing which gain would be the real one

-

Unused passage from the 175 or 230 range

It is around this time that we make a brief visit back home, mostly so that I have the expressions of friends and family etched into my memory as every bite of food crosses its threshold. But while we are there, we visit a sweet shop, and a beautiful woman recognizes me and speaks to me. It is my childhood best friend, the same one I'd once abused, to my everlasting shame. I expect her to be happy, even a little vindictive at what's become of me. I want her to be, even. It would be fair. But instead what she does is even worse... and better. She genuinely looks sorry for me. We have lunch and talk and become surprisingly fast friends again. I apologize for what happened. She accepts. I tell her it changed my life. She doesn't understand. She can't.

-

2000 is too many characters - just
lol