c00kie's blog

Gender: Female
Age: 22
Location: United Kingdom

Liars and cheats!

Thursday 05th November 2009 by c00kie

As I am a paranoid worry freak. I am always thinking that people are out to
get me and constantly think the worst. This is a bit crap because I think
everyone is lying to me or being horrible even when there being nice so I am
starting to think I can't actually tell the nastys from nice people anymore.

It has been brought to my attention by a few close friends that apprently
liars are people who find it hard to believe anything is true. And cheaters
always expect or accuse there partners of cheating!

Is this like some common rule? Does anyone else think that people that
cheaters are completely mistrusting in others? Or have any first hand experience?

Not trying to find a fool proof way of finding out people that cheat its
just something a lot of people had said to me recently and I am curious.

Like if I cheated on my partner I think I would probably worry about them
doing it back to me. It does have some logic if you think about it.

Maybe... I dunno lol.

Anyway what do you think!

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Comments

Moonchild 3 weeks ago
It's not a rule, but it is pretty common. It might be because someone who lies/cheats/steals/whatever is more aware of how vulnerable a person is to it. Or it could be that they WANT others to be liars, so it seems like their own lying isn't as big a deal.

If you can't tell who's lying and who's actually nice, just assume everyone's nice. I know it's hard to make yourself think that way, but you're not really doing yourself any favors by defaulting to "this must be a lie." Assuming that people are generally good can get you disappointed, but it makes for a generally happier world.

RubyRipples 2 weeks ago
Don't keep doubting yourself. Intuition is a VERY strong instinct, and unless you really ARE paranoid, which I doubt, it's probably correct. I used to push my intuitive feelings away because people would assure me how honest, trustworthy etc they were, but EVERY damn time my intuition proved right in the end. I'm sure you do not feel this way about everyone... so when you DO, listen to it.

From my own experience, I'd say that the guy that accuses *you* of cheating and/or lying, tries to change you, tell you how to look, dress, act, basically acts all overly posessive and controlling, is the one that is doing the cheating. Usually they are cleverly manipulative, and pick a girl with self-confidence/esteem issues. They gradually pick away at the already fragile shell, with supposedly "casual" little put-down comments, often then claiming that they didn't mean it the way you took it. They will accuse you of all sorts of "misdemeanour

RubyRipples 2 weeks ago
"misdemeanours", to make you feel like you have to keep proving how much you like/love/want them. So you end up with NO self-confidence, and chasing that person around, begging them to believe that you love/like/want them. And that is exactly where they want you, because then they are controlling you. God forbid you ever accuse them of any of these things, it will be greeted with indignant fury and the usual reaction is "well if you think im doing a, b, c or d, why dont you just finish with me?" Clever, and very, very cruel.

I'm sure you DO realise that most people are good, kind and decent, and when you really think about it, you DO know who is being genuinely nice and who to not trust here.

Well, that's my rant done, :p

RubyRipples 2 weeks ago
ps. just wanted to make clear after reading mine, that my post was based on previous relationships, FRIENDships, and family members. I've had friends in the past (female) that accused me of not spending enough time with them, almost accused me of "cheating" on them. Exact same thing, they wanted me all to themself, and tried to make me feel evil. And very manipulative family member that could twist anything and make you feel bad when you really knew deep down you had done nothing.

I dont even necessarily think that liars believe that everyone else lies, or that cheaters think that everyone else cheats. I do think though that they are usually manipulative sorts, so will try to make you feel like you have done wrong, to take the focus off themself.

Second rant over :p

olly feeder 2 weeks ago
Well, just because you are paranoid, doesn't mean that there isn't actually someone out to get you!
Just don't let the bastards grind you down!

Carolina_Dee 2 weeks ago
There are people who think the worst of almost everybody. And there are nice people, like me, who try to find the best in most people not the worst. Positive people are more trust worthy than negative ones. Ive learned this the hard way. I look at it this way, people who don't like me don't matter to me. Just try to relax and enjoy life more honey. The good years are when your young and healthy.

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