I guess I'm a numbers guy to an extent with this fetish.
I weigh myself often, usually several times per day. I like to make sure I'm at least maintaining my weight, if not gaining.
I also like to add up calories, to make sure something is going to help significantly with my gain. Sometimes things I thought were really fattening turn out not to be, but things I wouldn't expect to be are.
An example: Welch's Fruit Snacks have about 450 calories in a 5 ounce bag. That's more than two pop-tarts, which are 200 apiece, and I expected to be more fattening than they are.
I like a nice mix of calories and volume, especially if we're talking liquids.
Sometimes I go for five 14 oz bottles of True Moo whole chocolate milk before bed. Seventy ounces of liquid leaves quite a nice bloated feeling, and it's also a lovely 1950 calories.
Sometimes I can't get my hands on True Moo (I'm pretty sure I clear out the supermarket's inventory on this item... seriously), and instead turn to Whole Foods for their chocolate milk. There's a brand called "High Lawn", and it seems especially high in calories as well.
The half gallon bottle has a similar volume (64 ounces), but less calories (1680).
Both options have higher calories than even a quart of heavy cream, although requiring twice the volume. I will say this though, I belly full of chocolate milk feels really nice, heavy and relaxing.
A belly full of heavy cream feels awful, to the point that you're afraid to breathe wrong or you might get sick.
As one final note, the last stuffing I did with chocolate milk, my last final gulp caused a sudden bulge feeling in my upper stomach, a stretching feeling as if it had been pushed to new limits! The best part was, my stomach made a noise that sounded something like someone croaking "help..."
Poor belly.
10 years