Gaining

Pretty much ever since I can remember.

It started for me in 5th grade when I was 10. It was Halloween, I remember because everyone was in costume, and I saw a chubby girl in my class getting made fun of for being fat. It didn't mean much at the time, but for some reason I couldn't stop thinking about it. The whole situation stuck with me.

I don't know why, but I started becoming very interested in fat girls. I distinctly remember using the create-a-wrestler on my WWE game to make all the divas fat. I watched the French Fry episode of Lilo & Stitch over and over. Anything that had a fat girl or a girl getting fat, I had to see.

I eventually found my way to the Internet and that's when things really took off. Did you know you can find porn on the Internet? Crazy, right?

I found Pigs Is Pigs on YouTube, then Hadoukenchips and Biggie on Deviantart, a bunch of stuff on Expansion Mansion (when it still had free stuff), started reading short stories on Dimensions Magazine and eventually I ended up here.

So, long story short, I was 10.

I was in my early 20s when I realized that I was a fat admirer.

I have always connected with fat girls. My first dance in middle school was with a fat girl, and it was the first time I felt like someone was actually attracted to me. I remember her love handles feeling so good between my hands.

I remember being about 16 and having fat girls start entering into my fantasies, but I wasn't specifically interested in fat girls. Once again, the girls I connected with best, and my high school girlfriends were chubby, but I was also acutely sensitive about possibly being judged for being with chubby girls.

In my early 20s, I started dating a fairly chubby girl. As we dated, she became straight-up fat. One day, she told me that she "cheated" on her diet, and something clicked inside me - "holy ****, I love this!" I've never looked back.

I can remember watching the Pigs in Space skit on the old Muppet Show. Once, at the age of six, I ran full speed to kiss Miss Piggy on the TV but I tripped and busted my lip on the darn TV! Only time I had to have stitches.

Later, in my early 20s (a common theme, it seems) my first relationship involved a girl who plumped up nicely when she was dating me I was still skinny and didn't have a belly of my own til my 30s. Both girlfriends after that have been fat all their life Real women have not just curves, but bellies, I guess

Since I was very young I always had a curiosity about what I now know to be feedism.

I have memories of eating until my belly stuck out, sticking toy food under my shirt to simulate weight gain and being way more interested in books and TV shows that involved fat characters, gaining or food.

I remember drawing fatter characters and characters with bellies at home

I even once had a friend I would openly overeat around as when I visited him his family always had plenty of food around. We would often see who could eat the most, rather innocently.

As I got older I'd start playing with belts to make my small belly look bigger and once inadvertently gained to 98 lbs by eating too much when I should have been around 80 for that height.

I distinctly remember one boy calling me a "pot-bellied pig" as a joke when my school shirt got tight around belly. At that moment part of me was embarrassed but another part realised this all linked in somehow.

Fast forward a few years and I discover the internet, find BBW sites, gaining contest sites and eventually set up my first profile on 43things to start my first gain as a gainer .

I was a teenager I like the big girls but at the time skinny was in so I keep it a secret now that I older I don't care what people think, and I get a bigger belly myself I getting to like it

As early as I can remember I was fascinated with anything on TV that involved bodily expansion; inflating cartoon characters, rubber suits in live action and even cases of bulging or billowing clothes. (I was horrified when anyone burst, like that damn frog on Sesame Street.)

Around 10-11 I was mentally experimenting with the idea of expanding myself at the same time as I was trying to lose actual weight; I'd try to blow up a balloon while it was under my shirt.

As soon as I hit high school, however, I had vivid fantasies of the girls I fancied rapidly fattening up, usually via a tube in the mouth. I'd found my specific taste, and I've been a gainhound ever since.

It hasn't influenced my real-life relationships much, but I look for much the same thing online now as I did in the mid-1990s. It is of course easier now.

When I was in my early teens, I became fascinated with wanting to gain weight or others gaining weight. As I grew older, the desire was still there. It was until later in life, I decided to let myself go and see what happens. I have yet to be disappointed.

I've always been an FA but I'd say gaining got started around 9 or 10 when I encountered catalogs advertising the "bulging beauties" models. i thought they were gorgeous if a little too over the top makeup wise. I decided that I wanted an SSBBW, but then realized how weird of a match we would be if i was way thinner so i started gaining and really enjoyed in and never looked back.

This makes me feel old. When I was a freshman in college (mid 90's) I was in the computer lab of my dorm and stumbled across Dimensions, and specifically the Melanie Bell stories. It took me years to work out exactly what about Feederism I like in terms of how I see my own body and what I like in others, but I know that is the day that I first separated out fatness as a sexy thing.