Gaining

I have to admit, that I have some of the same "barriers". I have put on about twenty pounds since I retired from the military reserves in 2013. I'm over sixty so gaining weight at my age is far more acceptable to society in general than younger persons gaining.
I was recently back East for a wedding and visiting family. My weight was never mentioned or even hinted at, even my very slim mother.
I sure if I gained another twenty pounds, I would start to see some reactions.
My wife weighs over two hundred pounds and she is only around five foot four. She hasn't mentioned my weight. When dressed I don't look that much heavier, though I have gone up a pants size. However in our bedroom/bathroom, in my briefs (bikini cut) I look substantially heavier. My waist is forty sixe inches, and I make no effort to "suck it in". So my point is, go for it. You have to be comfortable in your own skin. Gain, see how it feels, if you are fairly young, losing weight isn't terribly difficult, if you don't like the extra pounds, good luck!

The mental barrier is tough. I have struggled with that. For years I wouldn't let myself gain even a few pounds but then I let go a bit as a test and really enjoyed it. I lost the weight and then went for a more dramatic gain recently, which started out as letting go a bit to outright gaining on purpose (total 80 lbs).

Gaining has been great... one of the best decisions I have made... I feel much more free and happy. I haven't gotten many negative comments from people that I don't want to hear them from, but might if I gained more.

Of course, I feel like I want to gain even more, up to 300 lbs! So far, I havent been able to get past 250 without panicking and losing some weight. I am interested in hearing how others have dealt with this too.

I would say you should try a small test with about 20 lbs. You will likely enjoy it but then you can decide what to do. I think you are right that large gains are hard to reverse, but they are also so fun You will ultimately have to do what makes you happy... easier said than done...

First of all 250lbs is not all that much to be concerned about you could be a lot fatter no problem.

Secondly most people can't spare that much effort to be concerned on your behalf.

Thirdly if they are that interested in your weight they are probably a closet FA or Feedee anyway. You know they are bashing you for your weight to give them a socially acceptable reason to concentrate on how fat you are.

Finally feeling a bit guilty about your weight gain actually adds to the enjoyment.

So yes gain weight and feel a bit guilty about it. And then gain some more! Then console yourself by saying you can't help it and it's not your fault and comfort eat.