General

I have been fascinated by fat all my life even as a small child. I can't explain it, it's just a part of me and who I am. Unfortunately alot of people get freaked out and start to look at me as if I am a psychopath. I am learning discretion, telling others only what I think they need to know.

I am sure that there must have been tons of research looking into why people have certain sexual preferences. I don't think we will ever understand this or know why. I have had this fascination for fat for as long as I can remember, so I am sure it must be something unconscious from very early childhood or something I was born with.
For me, it is mostly about the “softness”. Someone could have the biggest belly on earth, but if it would be hard to touch, it would not do much for me. Touching, feeling and cuddling a soft body, or the anticipation of how soft someone must be when I see soft curves, is what gets me going. Is this because it reminds me of soft cuddles as a baby, or the contrary, a lack of them? I don’t know. Is it something genetic? Possible, but then it must be random genetic variations, because fatsexuality doesn't usually seem to run in families.
I have thought about this a lot, seeking answers for my preference because I was struggling with it when I was younger. But you just have to accept it as it is without asking why because it will not go away. It is like if we were on a train that never stops. You are on it and you can't get off. You can see the outside world through your window, but you are not part of it. You may dream about it, pretend to be part of it, but you're not. You're fatsexual and you have no idea at all what other people find so attractive about skinny people. You can be sad about being on this train and constantly be staring out of the window, or you can sit back, get to know the other passengers on the train and enjoy the ride wherever it takes you.

Of course, this is just a metaphor, don't take it literally. I don't mean we are people in a different universe, of course we interact with "normal" people as well. But sexually, I feel on a different planet. I have no idea what drives other men so crazy about skinny or normal sized women. I have fallen in love with skinny women, but it was purely platonic, no sexual feelings involved at all. Sexually, I will never feel complete unless I am with a big woman, and I have learnt to accept that as it is without continuing to wonder why.

Part of the reason we have this conversation is the perceived societal "norms" which tell us this is something abnormal and perhaps deviant or perverted.

However, it doesn't work that way at all. We wouldn't have a conversation on these preferences if they had to do with liking men with muscular chests (rather than flabby ones) or women with narrow waistline (rather than roly-poly wide ones).

But throughout history, what passes for desirable (sexual or not) has changed, and different cultures treasure different features and appearances.

So much of who we are is dictated by our body chemistry, genetics and biological imperatives. So what about these things might make fat and weight gain seem so fascinating to you? And are there environmental (nuture) factors as well?

These are difficult questions, certainly. And if we think of ourselves as animals, what is it about animals that leads to certain mates being preferable over others?

Sorry, I'm just rambling and asking more questions rather than giving some plausible answers.

I do think there is some biological imperative among many humans to prefer a bigger mate. It could be perceived health, virility, fertility, even the notion that a fat man (or woman) has a regular food source -- as well as the capacity to store food as adipose to get through times of food shortage, famine, the winter, whatever.

When you see a big man, your body's reaction might be fascination and attraction due simply to propagation of the species -- the survival of the fittest (or in this case, the fattest).

And also, there is nurture. At some key point in your early through adolescent life, did you experience something related to fatness or fat people that caused arousal or strange feelings? You may not even remember that event, but somewhere your brain took notice and associated all things good with all things fat.

Perhaps someday, they will discover the "fat-lover's gene" and we will see that all this was pre-determined way before our birth -- same as our gender and sexual preferences.

Until then, it's a fascinating subject, and like you, I think about it often.

I've wondered about it too, I don't know why I'm drawn to being fat or why I like fat guys. The funny thing is that I'm raising the bar as time goes by and as I gain.
I have some favorite xtube videos and still photos of guys that at one time I thought were really obese that I found orgasm-inducingly hot, but now I think "hmm y'know, they're not that fat". Though no less orgasm-inducing.

People just have preferences. If someone prefers blondes, they don't try to figure out why.