flingbing1819:
I have been thinking recently about my personal dichotomous feelings about what is attractive: I think that big, round bellies on other people is the sexiest thing possible, however only find myself attractive when I am losing weight. For a very long time I believed that I was /attracted/ to both body types (very fat people and unhealthily skinny people), but after developing an eating disorder, realized that I am *attracted* to fat people, but want to *be* a 'skinny person'; I don't actually find unnaturally thin people sexually arousing, but I do find them... beautiful.
I understand the concept of mutual gainers, but I now and curious about if people who fall on either the 'feedee' or 'feeder' side have the same opposing beliefs on what is attractive on others and on them, and why. To people on either side, is all fat attractive? Is it only attractive on yourself or others?
What the heart wants, we can do little about.
I think that we all have a wider range of attraction than what we give ourselves credit for. I know, for myself, that my longest and most fulfilling relationships have often been based on much more than physical features.
The ability to laugh with someone is sexy as hell.
The ability to talk for hours about all kinds of things is sexy as hell.
The ability to just be silent with someone -- and really feel together -- is sexy as hell.
Oh well, I feel I'm going off topic, but bottom line: I think everyone should give themselves permission to expand their preferences.
