General

I wrote a reply but it was apparently way too long and horribly truncated so I deleted it so I could send it as a private message but same thing, horribly truncated - like half the reply missing. Let me know if you do log back in, some times people post questions like this and then never come back to see the answers. I saved my reply so I can send it to you another way. I think you'll like some of the experiences I shared - some of which I've never told anyone till now.

You can't worry what is "normal," only what you like. I pretty much get turned on only thinking about someone gaining weight.

You got that right! I tried and it thanks to the character limit, it took 5 or 6 messages and that is just introductory stuff. I don't think I've ever seen someone post a question that resonated with me so much. I hope we can all discuss it more.

It might be helpful to remember that there are people out there who have the opposite psychological attitude towards weight/fat. People who from an early age had an irrational hatred of fat, who bullied their little chubby sister relentlessly for being slightly fat, who saw a weight gain related plot line on tv and decided to not eat for the rest of the day, who voluntarily devotes their time to anti-obesity crusades in the hope of achieving their ideal world where obesity doesn't exist. In my opinion these are the truely evil people: not people like you.

This really stuck out to me because I can understand why you'd wonder that, but as someone who also had childhood versions of feedist experiences, I can at least share my insight on this.

I didn't identify my feelings as being an actual fetish until I was almost 20, and then it intensified the scope of my sexual fantasies, which had always been about growing bellies and fattening up. It freaked me out, but over the years I had no choice but to engage with it because this is what gets me off.

At 29 I decided to gain weight and find a relationship with a man who was compatible with my fetish, and at this point I'm 100% happy with it on all fronts. But in the interim I had a series of awkward fantasies based on things from my childhood. Those were replaced as I had real life experiences or found new fantasies inspired by stories and people documenting weight gain in pictures. What I'm saying is: just because something that arouses you includes a sibling in childhood does not mean you are sexualising a child - it is completely possible to view a sexual memory from a childhood perspective, and it doesn't sound like the experience was sexualised on her end. Just because you experienced it that way does not mean that she did, as a fetish is by definition the sexualisation of something that is not sexual in origin. (I'll leave the philosophical side of that debate for others, though!)

My advice is to keep thinking and feeling your way through it, and as you become better acquainted with yourself and whatever it is you find yourself desiring, I think you'll find that these fantasies will become a distant memory as you develop a more enjoyable selection from your wank bank Best of luck!

Do I need to get the bar of soap for you?