Yeah I agree, this is definitely an interesting topic.
I know that conflict that Filly describes well. I fetishise my weight and shape and size and take particular pleasure in it when I put on weight, albeit that I've never jumped in and done so on purpose.
But on the other hand I still diet (not for long, it's too difficult and boring) and exercise, although the latter is more for the convenience of being vaguely fit, which I find is less hassle than being unfit. And the reason for dieting is that I still feel that being thinner makes clothes look better or would for some reason make me happier. This is despite loving the way I and other people on here look. So I anticipate never being able to resolve this.
BUT here's the good part: I like the conflict. I think it's the most interesting thing about having this fetish/preference/extra-curricular activity, or whatever you want to call it. I love observing it in other people too - I find it really hot when cute boys gain and then stress about the extra pounds and work out in an effort to shift it. Heh. And part of the draw for fetishsing my own shape is knowing that it's "wrong" or "naughty" to let yourself get fat. It's on that cusp between disgust and revelling in it that the fetish lies for me. So being told off for being fat features in a few of my fantasies and I like the idea of role playing in which someone (who's really an FA) pretends to be shocked and horrified at how fat I am, etc.
So that's my way of dealing with it Fillster - make the actual conflict fun and then the fact that we get pulled in 2 different directions - which I suspect is inevitable - isn't a problem any more.
Heh.
I know that conflict that Filly describes well. I fetishise my weight and shape and size and take particular pleasure in it when I put on weight, albeit that I've never jumped in and done so on purpose.
But on the other hand I still diet (not for long, it's too difficult and boring) and exercise, although the latter is more for the convenience of being vaguely fit, which I find is less hassle than being unfit. And the reason for dieting is that I still feel that being thinner makes clothes look better or would for some reason make me happier. This is despite loving the way I and other people on here look. So I anticipate never being able to resolve this.
BUT here's the good part: I like the conflict. I think it's the most interesting thing about having this fetish/preference/extra-curricular activity, or whatever you want to call it. I love observing it in other people too - I find it really hot when cute boys gain and then stress about the extra pounds and work out in an effort to shift it. Heh. And part of the draw for fetishsing my own shape is knowing that it's "wrong" or "naughty" to let yourself get fat. It's on that cusp between disgust and revelling in it that the fetish lies for me. So being told off for being fat features in a few of my fantasies and I like the idea of role playing in which someone (who's really an FA) pretends to be shocked and horrified at how fat I am, etc.
So that's my way of dealing with it Fillster - make the actual conflict fun and then the fact that we get pulled in 2 different directions - which I suspect is inevitable - isn't a problem any more.
Heh.
13 years