Munchies:
People's bodies change all the time. How you look now will not be how you look later.
Ever see couples that have been together 40, 50, 60 years? Specifically the ones that are still in love with each other? They put in the work to achieve that. The truth is that no matter what your partner looks like, you can lose attraction to them anytime. And telling them "I'm not attracted to you," or "I'm less attracted to you," puts the burden on them.
And unless they are doing something no reasonable person would put up with like not bathing or being obnoxious, then it's a you issue, not a them issue.
My partner loves busty women. And I am very busty. If I went down several cup sizes and he said "I'm not attracted to you anymore," or "I find you less attractive," I'd be destroyed.
You have some things you need to work through - things that are not his burden to bear. If he asks, you can tell him "I'm sorry babe. I'm working through some things. They are not your fault, and you did nothing wrong. When I'm done, I'll tell you about it."
In the mean time, ask yourself if you can find other reasons to be attracted to him. When my partner decided to lose weight, he was terrified of me losing attraction to him. That never happened. If anything, the closer we get, the more I find myself attracted to him. Some of it involves me finding different reasons to be attracted to him. Like the growing muscle in his arms or how he has really nice cheekbones I never saw before. The rest is appreciating the things that don't change like his broad shoulders or sweet smile.
It's also important to find non-sexual reasons to be attracted to your partner. For me, it's things like how he makes me feel safe or his wicked sense of humor.
If you can find it in yourself to maintain your attraction, tell him. "Babe, I was worried I'd lose my attraction to you. But after thinking things through, I realize that's not going to be a problem." If you can't then you should probably end things. If not, the relationship will wither away and become filled with resentment.
Thank you for your advices. They're great as always, but this time I did it my way because the truth is no one here can know our relationship as good as we do. Some of the people make me look like some toxic evil GF and (even you) suggested breaking up.
But just as I said before, every relationship has its own rules.
We usually discuss everything. It's not the best idea everytime. Sometimes maybe we would have been happier if we didn't know some things, but this is us. So hidding the reasons of my sadness isn't something I can actually do without making him upset.
If one of us is sad or doesn't look ok, we discuss it immediately or sometimes later, but later as in 1-2hrs later, not days.
Abou attraction and physical attraction. Since you answered to this topic from the beginning you peobably remember that I was with him before gaining weight. So ofc I have many reasons I am attracted to him. But I think it's normal that we are attracted of our parteners in one form more than in another. And I doubt I'm the only one experiencing this. Even when you get old, ofc you should love your partener the same and you shouldn't be less attracted to them. Buuuut I doubt it will be the same physical attraction. I think it will be the same level because you'll find many reasons to be attracted to, not physic related.
Anyway, we aren't old yet. So we (both) find it normal to be as attractive as we can for each other as we can and we like. So if he likes blonde hair and I don't like being blonde, I won't be blonde just for him (it's just an example, not the case happily, he likes my hair color). Buut he likes long hair and I had some moments I wanted to cut it short. He just told me he wouldn't like that. Also he told me if it makes me happy and I really want that, I should do it. It didn't "make me happy", it was just a thing I wanted for the moment so I didn't do it since he told me he won't like it. But those kind of things are normal for us because, again, we try to tell each other everything. We don't decide for each other and we support each other if something makes one of us happy, but we stil tell our opinions even when some of them hurts. (I hesitated to tell him what I thought this time not because it could hurt, but because I was afraid it will make him keep his weight for me and I wanted to let him figure out what he wants without influencing because this is not as superficial as having short or long hair, it was about his confort)
It's the same for him wanting to lose weight now. I knew he loves eating. I knew he told me many times he likes his belly and how he looks since he gained weight. I know he's happy with a full belly. So I couldn't believe losing weight will make him happy so I was sad about it. We discuss it after all and I was right, he is happier now, but he doesn't feel confortable at work so he will los