General

Well, I didn't mean to do those things right off the bat when meeting her, just some things you should do to show you like her sexually while you are seeing her after a while so she doesn't pull out the whole "do you think I'm ugly?" or something along those lines.

When I first meet a girl I'm interested in, I just flirt, look her in the eyes sexually with a smirk, laugh, joke, etc... I really don't think the meeting and picking up is hard really...but I have a good bit of confidence usually.

bah, this all sounds too hard, i'm giving up.

Why is confidence so important to women? I see it time and time again with threads and discussions similar to this one. Women can appear cute or smart or shy, or feisty or creative or quirky or geeky or glamorous or trashy or just about any style, appearance or demeanor (as long as some amount of effort has gone into it) and there will be men that lust after them. But for guys it's just confidence.

So why is a man so often required to just emphasize confidence in himself and his actions and little else? Surely a woman's libido is about more than just which guy can be the biggest confidence radiator?

In any case, is not honesty a more attractive virtue? I'd like to think it takes more strength to be honest and be yourself than it does to pretend to be all confident and macho trying to impress people. Even if you succeed with the confidence approach she's going to find out who you really are at some point.

Sorry honey, you are beautiful and you seem really cool - but that puts me right on the edge of my seat cuz you're WORTH getting nervous about. I can't pretend to be a swaggering confidence-machine unless I'm not that bothered about what happens when I talk to you. Just because I think you're so gorgeous it makes me weak at the knees to think about, doesn't mean i'm going to be any better or worse a potential boyfriend for you than a guy who marches up to you and constantly tries to put across how confident and amazing he is.

I'm not just being a naive loser, I know I'm not! Cuz I also don't understand this as a bisexual man when other guys approach me. I'm really not that bothered about how confident men are per-se. Being honest and being interesting and being fun have tenfold importance over being confident if a guy approaches me. So long as you don't have a complete and total lack of self-confidence, it isn't an issue.

I realize the tone of this post could be misconstrued as whiny, but all I'm really doing is questioning why things are this way. Or have I just gotten the wrong impression? Is advice like this mostly aimed at men who have no confidence whatsoever?