General

Women asking men out

FriesWithThatShake wrote
But the main reason I bring up this thread is because of women that DON'T ask guys out in the hopes that the guy they're interested asks THEM out. A couple years ago, I had 3 girls reconnect to me via facebook, and say how they used to like me and had hoped I'd ask them out. Back then, however, I was much more shy than I am now. (I've talked about how much so in the past here). It was good to hear, but I had no idea that I had been liked.


This is very interesting, I know on occasions talking with my dad, he said he once caught up with a girl, many years later, who, when they were in school together, she was the hottest most popular girl in the school, yet she actually confessed, all those years later to how smitten she was with my dad and how cute she thought he was. He was naturally dumb founded as he was like me growing up (quiet and shy) and never in a million years would have thought the girl everyone else wanted, actually wanted him.

Having said that, I haven't had the same success, i've only ever honestly liked 3 girls in my entire life and none of those worked out, (2 were flat out rejection, the other one was due to other matters)

So as inspiring as my dads advice was, i don't find myself with beauty queens confessing their undying love for me... lol.

FriesWithThatShake wrote
I never understood why some guys and girls would ask people they didn't know out for a date.


lol I don't get this either, like when you see a pretty girl out somewhere and you know you'll never see them again, you think most guys would just ask them out, but how do you ask out someone who you know nothing about? :S

As for the hints thing, lol don't bother girls, I wouldn't know if a girl wanted me if she stripped and sat on my lap, i'm that oblivious to those kind of things...
13 years

Women asking men out

Maximum wrote
FriesWithThatShake wrote
I never understood why some guys and girls would ask people they didn't know out for a date.


lol I don't get this either, like when you see a pretty girl out somewhere and you know you'll never see them again, you think most guys would just ask them out, but how do you ask out someone who you know nothing about? :S

As for the hints thing, lol don't bother girls, I wouldn't know if a girl wanted me if she stripped and sat on my lap, i'm that oblivious to those kind of things...


It's easy to ask a strange girl out, you just walk up to her *in your polyester liesure suit mind you* and say in an overly exagerated way "Hey baby, what's your sign", this tends to work out better if you draw some inspiration from Shatner
13 years

Women asking men out

scroogey wrote
Oddity wrote
I've asked a guy out and been rejected (A.K.A. laughed at and never talked to again). That being done, I'm a bit oversensitive to rejection, so I've not asked since.


this, really. its hard for girls like us to pluck up the courage to ask guys out because of the general public's opinion on big girls..

but i do agree that it should be a two way thing, i don't see why guys should be expected to be the first ones.
its kind of sexist, in a way.


I've asked guys out before, and I'll say this. It has worked really well when it's been a purely sexual invitation, but not ever about dating.

And I think scroogey's right--I take Moreover's point that if men reacted to rejection by never asking again, dating would stop. But given that a) we (women) are taught to hinge our self-esteem on being desirable and being asked out, and smiley as fat women our self-esteem takes multiple hits every day from the culture at large, and plenty of hits from 'friends' in the younger years--and sometimes even into adulthood!--it makes it a lot harder to feel good about making a first move.

I might feel more able to take a chance at a BBW/FA event, though...
13 years

Women asking men out

Happened to me twice. One I didn't return the favor but just went with it (More on that later) and the other I did like, but wasn't sure if she really liked me or was just being nice. Here are the details:

First girl- This girl was a friend of a female friend of mine. I met her in person in a disastrous fixup but later talked and it became platonic. However, at some point, she started seeing me in a new light and the mutual friend told me that she liked me. Wasn't sure if I believed it or not. Went to lunch one day with her and back to her house. We hung out but nothing sexual occurred. I thought it was just a platonic thing, so I didn't really make a move. She took me home later that day and then texted me, asking me out. I accepted, without hesitation. However, we didn't really date because I didn't put in time and effort to go see her or the few times that we did anything, there was no romance like handholding, arm around her lower back, hugging, or kissing. We mostly talked on the phone. Then one day, she called me to come over but being that she lived a far distance from myself, as well as the fact that the only transportation I had was public, I tried to make an excuse that I not go. It was the beginning of the end at that point. I guess you could say she called it off a couple of days later. The whole thing lasted two and a half weeks, but felt longer than that. We still talked until months later when we had a falling out.

Second girl- I met this girl on bus ride and she was the driver. She is the same age as I am. For the next couple of months, I rode on her route and talked with her and such. She was all nice to me and all, but I had a vibe from her that she was interested, but wasn't sure about it. Because it's often certain that a girl being nice is just that, being nice and nothing comes of it. She gave me her AIM name and Myspace URL. She asked me out on AIM and I accepted. This one I actually did like by the way, but it didn't last long because she had her kid to worry about. Unlike the first one, I still remain on good terms with this one. She is engaged to someone else, by the way.

I guess one of the reasons why I realized that it's best to either reject or ask a woman out because with girl #1, I felt that she was convenient. I thought at the time, and I'm not lying either, that it was my ticket to getting lucky, if you know what I mean. But I didn't really like her that way. But with girl number 2, it's best to know if you like the person as well. On another perspective, man or woman, I've always felt that if someone really wants something, then he/she should go right for it.
13 years

Women asking men out

No_Limit_Soldier17 wrote
Because it's often certain that a girl being nice is just that, being nice and nothing comes of it.


This is so true and something I wish I could learn, so often I mistake being nice for interest and it all goes horrible when I try and act on that supposed interest. So many good friends i've lost this way... smiley
13 years

Women asking men out

I agree, it is hard to see that someone is just being friendly. One girl was all friendly to me and flirty, like asking me what my name was and commenting on my shirt, then I realized that she had a boyfriend. I sometimes don't understand women.
13 years