General

I can understand some people being rude. But, at the same point, this is about gaining. If this was a travel site, wouldn't people ask where you have traveled to? Or if it was a knitting site, wouldn't people ask what you have knitted?

But, I usually don't have too much of a problem talking about gaining. I am polite, and remember to ask how someone is. If I ask a very personal question, I always add "if I may ask." That allows the other person to graciously not answer. I change the subject if I have other things in common. If I don't, I end the chat.

I agree with everything that's been said so far. I, too, don't chat about gaining until I know someone a while, and I feel comfortable with them as a pleasant acquaintance. (In other words, we don't have to be best friends, but if I wouldn't go to a pub to have a drink with you, why on earth would I chat with you sexually?!?)

There's one other thing to remember: many people have come here for a fat positive site, not specifically for feeding. So you shouldn't presume that someone who's here is into feeding or gaining, only that they are into fat in some way--for themselves or their partners.

Which means it all comes down to 1) getting to know people, and 2) asking politely and thoughtfully before getting down and dirty, as it were.