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Sick of being lonely

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Nl54   United States
Joined 15 years
Ninjabread Girl wrote:
flashedeeprom wrote:
I've tried everything I can think of.


You haven't BECAUSE:

I'm not particularly social when it comes to big groups of people,


You don't have to become the belle of the ball, but having solid friends and being social with good people might cure this thing they call loneliness.

I've been alone since November of last year. It has affected my work, my mental health (I am now on two anti depressants).


That's a heck of a lot of pressure to put on someone. You are making the girl the savior of your mental health. Seriously, I don't know many people who'd sign up willingly for that.

I'm sorry you're depressed and feel lonely, but having a girlfriend seriously won't be the magic bullet you're looking for.

It seems like you are taking a girl and making her your entire world and that's not healthy. I'd also chat with your doctor about your anti depressants. You need to love and respect yourself before you can expect anyone else to follow suite and if you have depression problems it might be best to chat with your doctor again and make sure the meds are working properly.


"That's a heck of alot pressure. You are making the girl the saviour of your mental health."

I agree. You have to be happy with YOU before you can make someone else happy. If you are completely dependant on someone else for your wellbeing and self worth, it will eventually send them running for the hills because it will drive them insane.
12 years

Sick of being lonely

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Sir Saphiel   Australia
Joined 15 years
administrator
The best advice I can give while trying to make yourself better is 'forget'. If you can't address the loneliness, forget it. Do some other kinds of activities and drown it out. There's other things one can do in one's life to pass the time. Letting it choke you won't achieve anything.

Put your hand in it's face, shove it out of the way and say "go away", and go watch a movie/play a game/read/etc. Ultimately, it's a battle that one doesn't have a choice but to fight and move on.
12 years

Sick of being lonely

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Foxglove   United Kingdom
Joined 14 years
Take responsibility. Why are you dependent on a girlfriend? Why don't you do well in groups? Why do you so willingly let yourself off the hook and accept it's "just me"? Why are you transferring the blame to others for their shocking failure to reply? Why are you whining when I think you have already spelled out to us all what the real issue is, ie. your unwillingness to make things better for yourself? Don't expect a girlfriend to take on this mess and make it all better for you. What would be in it for her? Give the self pity a rest.
12 years

Sick of being lonely

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Jambolio   United Kingdom
Joined 12 years
As others have hinted at I firmly believe the secret is being happy with yourself as an independent single person.

I'm not going to be an arse about it(any more than usual), but desperation, needyness, clingyness are not qualities that are widely viewed as attractive.

Myself, I'm working hard to try and improve myself and to build additional strength of character, I've been single for a couple of years now and feel stronger for it knowing that what I do to help myself will also have benefits for whoever I get involved with down the line.

Anyway, was just sharing my thoughts and the steps I have been taking to get through what has been a rough few years. There is no judgement from here, OP you've had a considerable number of helpful replies and I hope you can take something useful from at least one of them.

J
12 years